Family carers need to be supported throughout the whole illness of their loved ones as they witness and share much of the experience of the dying person, according to research published on bmj.com today.
And they needed research to find this out???!!!!
My sister was diagnosed with lung cancer just before Christmas. She was until then blessed with good health and as she was also a non smoker the whole thing came as a tremendous shock. She was one of the 'lucky ones' that could be operated on and has now finished chemo and we hope that she is cured but we are also terrified in case it comes back.
I, my sister and her elder daughter have just joined a local leisure centre and are spending some of our week doing some gentle swimming. My sister's hair is beginning to grow back. Every time she laughs my heart fills with joy and it feels like some kind of victory. It seems so important to grab every minute that we can to be happy in.
I know that i am grieving too but so much of the last few months has been like nightmare especially with my sister's illlness coming so quickly after my husband breaking his hip and being told he has osteoporosis. I am sure some of you will understand when i say that i feel there is so much to grieve for that i wouldnt know how to start and of course I am so grateful for having them both with me and neither being in pain at the moment. But i am afraid of the future not just for my husband and my sister but for my mom and my sister's girls as well.
And i know that i am quicker to anger over small things at the moment and less likely to shrug my shoulders and walk away from minor irritations so i guess that part of me is angry about what has happened too.
i think that as carers we often are coping with loss in our lives or the lives of those we love, perhaps also fear or having to watch loved ones suffer. How can that not affect our own emotions.
Dorothy, it's hard to find words that can comfort in the situation you are facing but may i send you my wishes for what i wish for myself... strength and peace of mind.