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Hubby Driving me Mad! - Carers UK Forum

Hubby Driving me Mad!

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I dont know if this is the right section to post in.

I care for two boys with disabilities and they are 24 and one younger.

They are doing fine

Except hubby is really grumpy. I know it's not the happiest time in the world, however it's getting ridiculous.

He is upsetting my younger son though now as he is so grumpy. He is always tired.

I just dont get why he is so tired either he is not that old

The thought of being locked up here for three or four months is not a pleasant one.

In the past I have tried to overlook it and a lot if the time I have been able to except now I cant go out or meet any friends I cant overlook it anymore.

I would ring the GP and say it's just not normal to feel so tired and be so grumpy however they are busy.


He is a kind man Howrver he just gets really irritable.

He has not showered or shaved in weeks either.

Theres nothing anyone can do I know however I wondered if anyone else feels this
A blood test is likely to be the first thing that a GP would advise, he could have low iron levels or he could be low in B12, either of these can cause lethargy and similar symptoms; don't know about the grumpy bit, possibly a bit of mild depression there as well causing that.
Ajay

Thanks.

When he went to drs a good few months ago they didnt even bother to do a blood test! They should have.

I suggested he shower and he has

I have exercised to music and a walk is imminent so feeling more positive now!
Cloudygal,
has he been worse since Lockdown?

Melly1
Melly

Yes I think so. He is getting stressed re handwashing all the time and also trying to get shopping slots.

He is worse in the morning when he is very tired.

Gets better through the day

Played a fun game if UNO with boys
Cloudygal,

sounds like Coronavirus related stress, then. Would the volunteer who bought your shopping last time be able to do it weekly, so that he didn't have to sit up late stressing over delivery slots. No suggestions re the hand washing though - is he stressing about the boys not doing it enough. Since as a family you are all self isolating(?) its less of an issue surely? Maybe you could learn all the various songs about hand washing on the internet and sing a different one each time he gets uptight about it!! Might make him laugh or not!!
Is he exercising each day?

We play Uno too.

Melly1
Has there been a conversation about any worries he is harbouring. Discussion on his behaviour/s in front of the children.
The message and examples he is displaying. Negativity and positively. Does he feel the pressure of the current situation is on his own shoulders alone. That's no to say I'm suggesting it's not on yours. As the division of labour/house hold finances changed.

Many people's lives have changed dramatically overnight. Some people's understanding of the position within a household has change. Not everyone likes or wants it. We have to reestablish our positioning. To fit the current situation.

If you can with the children make list and swap them over.

Example:

What's changed in the household?
What do I want to change?
Why I do not like what has changed? Because it effects me in this way. It makes be feel.
I am being asked to do something I didn't before. Why should I do it?

I know it might seem a bit basic. But we are creatures of habit/s established over time. Our equilibrium as been disturbed.

It's same when we go on holiday. Things change but we usually know it's for a certain time. And normal services will resume. It gives us reassurance.
Melly and Sunnydisposition

Thanks for your replies.

I think it is extra stress related to the virus.

He does like a bit of time to himself..dont we all.

And we have been busier than ever..with worries about whether the virus is on food we are bringing into the house. This has created extra tasks re the virus.

I think because we are looking after two young people with needs there are no gaps.

However somehow we do need to have a conversation and find the gaps for rest!
I totally get the need for time for yourself and how difficult it is not being able to have any due to supporting high maintenance carees. Describes my total exhaustion and mounting stress precisely.

As a team you should be able to engineer some me time for each of you.

Melly1
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-styl ... 34726.html

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/ ... ing-safely

https://www.realhomes.com/news/food-del ... -your-shop

We all have different fears re: this virus.

Identify and acknowledged each persons individual fears. And try and find the best solution.