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Dilemma - Carers UK Forum


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Finally managed to get mum to agree to a drs appt, we went last week and he arranged for mum to have some blood tests done. Wouldn't you know it, mum cancelled the appt, claiming that it was more important for her to see the contractors who will be doing work on her flat, than going for to the drs!! Thing is, the appt was in the morning and the contractors visit in the afternoon! When I tried to explain this to her, before she cancelled the appt, she would not listen to me, which is frustrating to say the least.

So, my question is, can I as a carer go sit in on mum's next drs appt, or even see mum's dr on her behalf? I really feel there is more going on with her than she's telling him.

Life, eh!!

ps I'm still stunned about Wales losing to Ireland on Saturday Image
Our GP allows me to sit in on my OH"s appointments,I do it because he does not take information in and a few minutes later has forgotten what he has been told anyway,I think you would be allowed to sit in on your Mum"s appointments as long as she agreed,if she did not agree i do not think you would be allowed to,I some how do not think you would be allowed to see Dr on your Mum"s behalf, patient confidentially and all that.
I dont know if all surgeries are the same but at ours I was able to talk over phone about anything regarding my mam including tests results etc.They would even give me an appt on my own about her.This all came about after discussion with the drs and my mam.She submitted written consent for their files giving them permission to discuss anything and everything.Generally we had home visits as mam was unable to attend the surgery, but giving her written consent did come in handy at times.

As a paid assistant under DPs scheme,I now also go in with the lady I work for to see her GP and her consultant at the hospital.It was something she wanted and after discussion with her family they also agreed.We have never had any problems arise.
Hi, at our surgery I go in with OH for appointments although he had to give permission for me to access any info over the phone. Image
Maybe if your mum said she's happy for you to deal with things on her behalf, this would be an option. Image

marie x
you dont know unles u ask!

just be bold and ask,,, i had to do it with matt as he wasnt turning up for appts,, now they call me and tell me he hasnt!
I had never had any problems discussing my husband with health professionals or getting his test results over the telephone until one receptionist decided that I could not even know if his blood test results had returned Image , I wrote a letter with my husband's agreement and we have had no further problems since, if I get a stroppy receptionist again I will just ask her to check his file. I would ask your mother if she minds signing a letter giving you similar permission until further notice which is what I put in my husband's letter, she can always rescind it if she wants to.

If she will not agree I do not think that there is anything you can do other than let her know how worrying you find it, she might relent and visit the doctor, it worked with my mother when she was really ill last year and would not visit the doctor although I confess that I told her that I thought that she was being selfish, my husband was in hospital and she lives 70 plus miles away and as I explained I cannot divide myself in two. She now always goes to the doctor when she is ill if I say that I am worried about her, in fact she has at last been referred to a consultant after I insisted she ask for a particular test, it returned positive, hopefully now she will get a diagnosis and treatment, she is undergoing further tests at the moment. Parents can be sooooo worrying, it is so hard to bypass the parent/child roles.
my dads like that ,, he wont go to the dr until he is collapsed on the floor and being told a few days later-- Mr Penfold u have serious phnumonia again and he says ok, im going home now and he escapes home (much to my mums annoyance that he wont stay in hospital! they only live round the corner so its not like its hard for her to see him ) When he was very very bad a couple of years ago my mum called me at 3 in the morning begging me to call my dads mobile and tell him to let her call him an ambulance,, I did-- i told him he wasnt being fair on mum, me or my sister and most of all amy, i guilt tripped him, mums dad died when she was 7 so i didnt havea grandad just my great grandad and i said i didnt want amy growing up like that
Worked a right treat,, now he practically lives at the Dr and even got his glucoma sorted out!

Some times u have to use guilt trips-- only if its in the person u r guilt tripping best interests at the end of the day,, never guilt trip for your self
Our surgery allows us to go in with my husband and my daughter always insists in coming in with me. My OH always plays up when the doctor is mentioned mainly bevause he is so afraid of being put in a home!!!! His GP is now very good and will come out to him( he is just passing and thought he would call in) and this is ok because he is taken by surprise.

good luck Iris
together standing tall - i answered Irelands call .
Thanks everyone for all your advice and support!
Wouldn't you know it, mum has re-booked her appt and arranged for someone to take her because I was poorly!
I will have a chat with her about my attending future drs appts.

Thanks again everyone! Sending you all a big hug!