Desperate for advice please

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
I have 40 years experience of dealing with accounts. From my experiences, social workers can't even understand money records for £100, so you will have a far greater understanding than them
bowlingbun wrote:
Sat Dec 08, 2018 5:55 pm
I have 40 years experience of dealing with accounts. From my experiences, social workers can't even understand money records for £100, so you will have a far greater understanding than them
At least you made me laugh.
My son has severe learning difficulties, can't read write or do any maths and is reliant on carers to support him to budget. There have been endless problems. I've offered to show staff what to do, rejected as I'm the parent. So whilst I was trusted to manage the accounts for a hospital, I'm not trusted by SSD?!?! M has a budget of £100 a week for food and activities, the record spend was £260 in one week.

I've actually had to show the person now managing the entire LD department in my LA, why the accounts she could find "nothing wrong with them" were actually awful - the amount at the end of the week never tallied with the amount at the beginning of the next week!
Request they communicate via email/written letter only.

You'll quickly see an attitude adjustment when every word of theirs is "on the record" and facing the same level of scrutiny you've put up with for years.

And bring an advocate to any meetings you have with them, so they cannot turn it into "your word versus theirs"

Make a subject access request and see what exactly they have on their records of you if not done already as well.

Best wishes to you, stay strong
If you can do it, accidentally push the record button on your phone.
I think that may be illegal. I have dim memories that it is illegal to record someone else without their permission, and permission is unlikely to be gratned alas. I can remember earlier discussions on this forum where a carer was refused ANY right to record a HIGHLY contentious interview they were forced to have.

To my mind, the 'innocent' do NOT mind being recorded. Only the 'guilty' object!!!!!!!!!!

However, of course, if the button is pressed accidentally, well, that's just an accident then, isn't it?

Please do visibly take notes, and also insist you know who everyone is at the meeting, and writing down their names, and their titles. Put them on their guard, as in, shows them YOU will hold them to account for what they say.

Pause the conversation whenever you want, to say 'OK, so you are saying the following - .xxxxx . Have I got that right?' Then write down what it is they've said, and that they've agreed that is what they said!

And above all, don't give out information yourself. Just make a note in writing that 'Mrs X asked for the following information', and keep repeating like a parrot that you have to check all this with your parents' lawyers. (If asked who they are, tell them the lawyers will be getting in touch with them anyway, in due course!)

But do not be 'antagonistic' - smile and be civil, smile and be civil. And TOTALLY 'evasive'!
Yes Jenny, it was me who was refused permission to record a meeting. I was told that someone would write minutes, they were unbelievably biased and signed off by SSD as being correct when they were not. Good job I had an advocate at that meeting.
However, an "accident" might be different.
I knew it was someone 'bolshy'!!!!!!!! :) :)
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Feeling very anxious about the safegaurding meeting tomorrow. I believe it is to talk about mum and dad wanting to go 200 miles back to their home town, although that's not what mum and dad are telling me.

This is the whole problem, they seem to be telling me one thing and SS something else. When they speak to me my parents seem very confused and very convincing that they want to stay near me. Neither of them remember the three visits from SS, it's all so frustrating.

Another worry is dad is telling SS that I have never keapt him informed about his savings and bank account. I think that's why they asked to see this information. I always gave dad statements and spreadsheets that he kept in a file and we always discussed new investments.

On Saturday I spoke to dad about this and he said he remembers me taking these to him. But then half an hour later he said that I had never shared the information with him. Arrrrghhhh!!

At least my sister is coming today to attend the meeting so it's not all on my shoulders for a change. I spent the last twenty five years as a prison officer working in high security prisons. I dealt with the worst criminals in society, never did I go on duty once feeling as stressed as I am now.

I have decided that although I know it's absaloutly the wrong move for my parents and will be very upsetting, if SS recommend them moving I am just going to let them sort it all out and make it clear they take over responsibility.