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Happy with Carehome and coming back to life - Carers UK Forum

Happy with Carehome and coming back to life

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My wife Jayne is amazing, she tells everybody how we met and how much we love each other and that we have been married for 27 years. She also has Epilepsy and a mood disorder that has been called Bi Polar tendencies, Bi polar Disorder and Schizoid Affective Disorder, She has been in Care since 2002 and is now in her 3rd residential carehome. She comes home for a date night mid week and weekends which includes having a bath and me cooking . She is happy with the carehome at the moment but there has been a pattern with the other 2 that at first all goes well with Jayne engaging in the activities then slowly deteriorates to the point that relations with the carers breaks down and Jayne stays in her room and becomes bedbound.
My concern is to avoid this pattern happening here. She is currently engaging with me and Staff and has visits from an art therapist who is currently making a memory book with Jayne and has made collages with Jayne. Her interests and personality seem to be coming back after a long time of withdrawal which I think seems to coincide with a reduction in some medication for psychotic episodes she had. I am guessing that we need to keep it steady and not rush too much on her but I am cautiously excited that we have put a really bad 2018 behind us and the future is looking brighter.

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That is great news, I especially like the idea of a Date Night.
Yes, that does sound good - and a lot more uplifting. I would hope that if she has shown previously that she 'goes off' a place/staff, that you can learn from that, pass that on to the new staff/carers etc, and to 'head that off at the pass' etc.

keeping her 'diverted' is great - the memory box idea is lovely, and I hope it engages her for some time.

And I definitely like the idea of the date nights! Some say it is the secret to a happy marriage, with or without illness being involved!!!!! :)

Wishing you both all the best for the coming year....
Ps maybe something to look out for, ahead, is that once the memory book and collages are 'done' that there is 'another project' waiting for her to get engaged in.

Is there also something you can BOTH do as a project?

One old standby, of course, is sorting out the family photo albums! (This may already be part of the memory book of course) - most of us keep saying we'll do it 'one day' and then never do, and they all just stay in shoe boxes for decades (I know mine do!).

You mention collages - if she is good at craftwork there is a huge variety of such enterprises around now - from making cards (she could make them for charity, maybe??) (or sell them for money online!) to any number of needlework type activities, both ornamental and useful (and sometimes both!)
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