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Depression and being a carer - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Depression and being a carer

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
no wonder you are struggling. today a friend left a bunch of tulips on my doorstop as she said she noticed i was down lately as i wasnt wearing earrings,strange comment but true. i just couldnt be bothered with myself. friends very good things.hope you have somebody to unload to .unload here anyway and welcome
Thanks Diana . Any contact with others is so good. I love reading your comments especially as I know you all suffer pain yourselves . Thank you all x
Hi yuh Corinne , Yes I feel you have made a very valuable & honest statement about being a carer & the link to depression - i often feel that way but luckily I do get out for an hour to shop which fortunately allows me to walk across a beautiful park fortunately the people out walking are okay chatty smiley thank god keeps me vaguely sane. But I also find great strength in meditation the radio & the knowledge that I am doing the right thing as a carer for my wife who like your husband is fading away before my eyes. But my god I have learn t learnt to be very tough as a carer you will too - don't give up keep on fighting for what you also believe in we all believe in on this site. But it often seems everything is out to get us I gave up a long time ago on any support from Drs or Family or friends in the end it is just us & our loved ones who are fading before out eyes. I think society is terrified of illness disability death etc....so us carers are - have to be that much stronger than the rest of society - I wish it were different...but there it is - so be strong & don't give up... Also your dads passing will add to your load god knows it will. But do get any help you need I found counseling for the members of my family who passed one after the other some years ago all within three years of each-other didn't know which way to turn & the rest of my family simply fell apart ...but in time - in time the wounds sometimes do heal. So get the help you may need crying is a fantastic therapy don't deny yourself that right..tell yourself it is okay to let the pain out the loss out also the Samaritans are good listeners any time night or day; another support system I found helpful as & when needed. Sorry a lot to read there - having a bit of a bad time myself just now but saw your post & wanted to add my support my thoughts my experiences to everybody else s. God bless take good care & know everyone here is here also for you. Bye for now. Hope that helps a little...hope that helps a lot.
Thank you it helped so much. Please keep the comments coming . How much better I feel after reading them x x
I care for someone and have various mh issues you are not alone
Thank you. If you need to offload I am a good listener. As my husband hardly talks now its nice to communicate x
Pop into Roll Call, we natter about all sorts of things, and there's usually someone around, especially in the evenings when our carees are sorted out. Don't worry, you'll soon work out who we all are, and roughly where we live - in the recent storms we soon got to hear of any problems round the country!
Hi everyone x. I have just gone through another bad night. I was filling in a form on the computer to try to get help paying the rent . My hubby who has picks disease stood looking over my shoulder ready to tell me what I was doing . I mistakenly asked him to bring me something from the living room. I forgot that he cant really understand what I mean and says he doesn't know what he is doing anymore. I lost my temper . I hate myself when I do. So I couldn't sleep. I feel I cope with larger problems but I become irritated with small things. Does anyone feel similar ? Please tell me I am not the horrible person I feel I am at this moment!!!!!! I am feeling so down this morning .
At times like this, just remind yourself that you are NOT Superwoman, that you are doing your very best in incredibly difficult circumstances. However it does show how worn out you are, how much you yourself could do with some support on a regular basis. When did you last have a weekend break on your own? I know, you don't want to leave your OH in the care of strangers, but one day there might be no alternative, for example if you needed admission to hospital. Some places, including the lovely home where mum now lives, have respite beds. Find out what is available locally. If this becomes a regular part of your year, you would have a break to look forward to.
HI Corrine, I really feel for you as I am going through a very similar situation and can identify with much of what you say. My husband had a kidney transplant 16 years ago and the trauma we went through before that taught us to cherish our time together and live life to the fullest.
Unfortunately in Dec 2012 he got a bad infection and has never fully recovered, now needing a liver and kidney transplant. Everything that we had as a couple has now gone. We have no social life, no love life, no life at all really. I still love him very much and I know he loves me but I so miss the man he once was. I will care or him for as long as he needs me but I never wanted to be his carer, I want to be his partner. We don't know what the outcome will be. He has been told he may have to wait 2 years for a transplant but the experts agree he doesn't have that long so our son has begun the process of giving part of his liver which is a scary prospect!
Sometimes I feel resentful that I have all the responsibility but none of the pleasures in our relationship but I try to remind myself that its the disease I am angry with and not him. I wish I could offer words of comfort but really all I can say is that I try to remember that it is still the same man inside this diseased body. I wish you peace. J