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Carers UK Forum • Depression
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Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 1:23 pm
by Charmian
I don't know who's more depressed, me or my husband. Sadly, he suffers from COPD, and recently he has gone off his food again, seems tired all the time and has just "given up". This makes me frantic with worry and, of course, depressed. The doctor has increased his dose of anti-depressants, and he is slowly starting to eat and feel a little better, but he seems to be on a "slippery slope". Of course I understand why he's so fed up. Who wouldn't be? His wonderful COPD Team have offered him counselling, but he won't agree to this. He won't even talk to me, let alone a counsellor. Here's Charmian moaning again! Sorry folks. Have spent a couple of hours in the garden this morning clearing up after the awful gale and torrential showers we had yesterday. Even though I was never a gardener, I do find it helps me to get outside and "slog away" in the fresh air, even though it's clearing up the mess. You can get rid of a lot of pent up emotions by having a session gardening. I felt a lot better, even though jeans and shoes covered in mud, and other unmentionable stuff - ( I think our local hedgehog who passes through our gardens most nights left me a "little present". The way the weather is, I'm surprised the hedghog hasn't "given up" and gone into early hibernation)!

Re: Depression

Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 2:26 pm
by Bluebird
Hey Charmian, you are certainly not moaning, it's good to write down how you feel. Glad you managed to get out into the garden, but not good to come back in covered in hedgehog poo Image
I'm rubbish with writing the right words, so I'm going to chicken out and let someone more sensible come along and help you, I'll just opt out and send you loads of hugs, you are so special and should feel very proud of yourself for being there with your husband. xx

Re: Depression

Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 7:16 pm
by evedan
Oh Charmian..i know what you mean my hubby is just the same Image no interest depressed no appetite and yes i feel as if i will get depressed but i do what you do "THE GARDEN" :roll

He goes into hospital next Tuesday for some laser treatment on his voice box and he is miserable about that as he had one side of his voice box treated at the end of May, and he knows that will set him back again!!!! But he has to have it done otherwise he will end up with the dreaded big (C) and we don't want that!!!(COPD) I WOULD NOT WISH THAT ON ANYONE !!!!

Hope i have not bored you but it has helped me to get a bit off my chest!!!

Take care Eve xx Image

Re: Depression

Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 8:05 pm
by mr turk
hi chairman my wife is last stage terminal copd emphersema she to whent through a stage when she did not eat she is eating a littel better now at the moment she is puting things in order as she says i hope things pick up for you and your husband you get out in the garden as much as you can good luck Image

Re: Depression

Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 9:15 pm
by Melly1
Hi Charmain, it is easy to get depressed as a carer and even easier if your caree (who you spend all your time with) is depressed too.

Have you looked at the Ways to tackle a low mood" (or words to that effect) thread - it helps me when I need it; so does talking, getting out in the fresh air and being active.


Re: Depression

Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 10:51 pm
by pixienubbins
awwww hoglets! that such a cute name!

U r not moaning, simply airing your thoughts Image

and we are human, and im sure most of the non-carers we know (the ones with the nice house, new clothes, eat proper meals all the time, give us the pity look ect) find it incredibly hard when a loved one has a sniffle or a little bout of flu so ithink in your situation u r quite right to air your thoughts!
keep airing them u will feel great doing it! no one will think u r moaning or misserable or awful

it just shows that for a member on here u r normal

Re: Depression

Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 4:58 am
by charles47
COPD is really scary for everyone involved. It's worth talking about that but some men feel that they cannot/must not talk about things like fear, worry, etc., and so they just sink into the depressive cycle.

Difficult to get them to open up. Maybe it's worth trying the "you're making yourself worse by not talking about it" and/or the "not talking about it won't make it go away" approaches. They don't always work but sometimes help.

Re: Depression

Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 8:58 am
by Limana68
I dont know much about COPD but I do know about depression........... I am a carer to my mu and also my hubby, and also work near enough full time(34 hrs) but am currently off sick as depression got hold of me again. I ended up going to my GP and am on anti depressants this time which have helped me and I am due back at work in 10 days time. I find that taking my dogs( all 4 of them!) for a long walk in the wood helps me, its just getting the motivation to start to do something, as once Im out I am fine.

Re: Depression

Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 12:59 pm
by Charmian
Thank you all of you for the wonderful replies as usual. You are all stars in the way that you cope. Yes, I do find that physical activity and fresh air do help with the depression, that's why I dread the winter - trapped indoors 24/7, especially last winter when we regularly had -12 degrees temperatures and thick snow on the ground for weeks and weeks. I'm thinking of buying some good old Damart thermal underwear and going for a walk every day, even when it's snowy and freezing cold. Just 20 minutes or so to clear the cobwebs!!!! It would be good in a way to have a dog,(would have to go walkies!), but my darling old rescue cat (Jasmine) would violently object to a dog in the house, and anyway, me and my husband are defintely "cat people". Jasmine spends hours sleeping on the sofa next to my dear husband and keeps him company. I'm sure cats know when somebody is poorly!
Take care all you good people, and I'll try not to moan too much. I have a lot to be grateful for - just have to focus that on the good things, but sometimes it's a bit difficult, but, I'm so grateful for all your lovely comments and advice.

Re: Depression

Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 9:56 pm
by Limana68
awwww Charmian
Hope you are feeling a but better today?
I took my dogs to the beach today- it was either that or me laying in my bed thinking too much, so I told hubby 'come on - lets take doggies out while the tide was out! They absolutely loved it! Made me feel great!