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dementia afternoons - Carers UK Forum

dementia afternoons

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hiya , still waiting for mums brain scan to see if got dementia.having spoken to a friend whos mum has been diagnosed , i think my mum must have it.afternoons seem to be the worst,she starts to put things in her handbag,like the phone,remote control,phone book etc.also says she is ready to go home when she is already at home.talks about meeting with people who have passed away many years ago.sometimes she thinks people in the house when it is just me and her,and seeing faces in the back garden.is this the experience of most sufferers of dementia? regards jane.
It certainly doesn't sound 'unusual' for dementia alas. Though dementia can present in many different ways, so there is no hard and fast rule.

'Confabulation' ...making things up....is very common....it is said that because they can't remember, and there are 'holes' in their brain so to speak, they make things up to 'fill the gaps'.....

Thinking about people from the past who are 'long gone' is also very common - and maybe quite touching in a way, as old memories 'churn up' in the broken mind.

As for worse times of day, again, it's very common alas for them to experience 'sundowning' ...it seems the lack of light can stimulate anxiety. Remember, sleep patterns are often high disturbed, and they can get very restless in the evening/overnight (which can make it exhausting to look after them)(my MIL with dementia 'wandered' endlessly at night - she was in a care home - I couldn't have looked after her like that, sigh)

In general, most of us on the forum go with the idea of what is called 'kind lies'....we don't 'disagree' with them when they say things that are not true, and we don't correct them. The logic is 'why?' - ie, they won't remember what we tell them, and sometimes it just upsets them. Why tell someone who talks about their long dead brother, say, that 'Mum, Uncle Peter died 15 years ago!' - what use would it be? Why upset them. Just change the subject as best you can......

It's a sad, sad time all round....
IF she is diagnosed with dementia, she will become exempt from Council Tax on the grounds of "Severe Mental Impairment" and probably also entitled to Attendance Allowance, which in turn may entitle her to additional payment payments, and you would be entitled to Carers Allowance, if not claiming it already. Money doesn't make anyone better but it can certainly help pay for extra care, a dishwasher, tumble dryer, etc. Has she signed a Power of Attorney?
not sure what is involved with power of attorney.do you have to go through a solicitor? regards jane.
I would always suggest using a solicitor if possible, then the solicitor is making the decision about mental capacity, and can confirm that the forms were not signed under duress. Fortunately, when mum made her will, the solicitor asked me to leave the kitchen and go out into mum's garden, for this reason. Later, my greedy lazy brother contested the will, aggrieved that it had been changed in my favour as he was too lazy to visit. He was told to get lost by my solicitor!! Mum owned her own house near Bournemouth, which was worth a significant amount of money.
However, if your mum doesn't own her house, doesn't have a lot of money, then the need for a solicitor is less.