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Dealing with incontinence - Carers UK Forum

Dealing with incontinence

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Hello all

I'm a bit of a lurker here, but I've received a lot of good advice here over my years as a carer, and I'm hoping you can help me again.

I look after my mum, who has dementia, COPD and diabetes. She currently has a chest infection, and I called the doctor out today. When he was here, he asked me whether mum had any incontinence and I said no. However later on I noticed that mum's chair was a little damp and smelly, and she must be dribbling a little when she coughs.

I'm mortified that the doc noticed when I didn't, and I didnt react well. I was a bit snappy to mum, and as usual I feel so ashamed afterwards. To be honest, she doesn't notice too much but I feel ashamed when I lose my temper and say things I regret later.

I got mum to change her clothes, and I've put them in the wash. However, she refused to bathe when it is not part of her routine. I couldn't get her to go into the shower. She said she will do it tomorrow as usual. She isn't smelly since I got her to change her clothes, and I don't know what else I can/should do?

Also, how can I remove the smell of urine from upholstery. Her chair cushion is dry, and there is no visible stain, but it smells a bit. Does anyone know how I can deal with this.

I'm trying not to make too much of a big deal out of this problem, as I don't want mum to lose confidence and make the problem worse, but I'm really worried that this problem will happen when she is out.
Has your surgery got a continence nurse? Mum had one, she was vrry diplomatic. Sometimes it is easier to discuss these things woman to woman.
Hi Jim,

re the smell - try Febreze, it's very good at deodorising. I used to use it when my Mum had an 'accident' and I've also used if if the cat has gone in an inappropriate place !

But with regard to the original problem then I'd suggest the same as Bowlingbun .
Washable cushion covers are very handy, and I couldn't live without Febreze.