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Thanks for the replies. I
Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2008 1:33 pm
Thanks for the replies. I am only alerting people to be cautious of what the content of their postings are, for their carees confidentiallity.
Thats precisely why I dont get this magazine in case my caree (or her friends) happen to read something I might have posted on here referring to her issues, she would be very upset.
Happy Christmas and best wishes to everyone.
I see your point John
Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2008 1:48 pm
I see your point John but tend to agree with Charles on this one. My Jill isn't interested in anything on the web, but reads a lot and could easily be seriously offended by some of my postings about her. She suffers from a nervous disorder/Dementia and my name would be mud and my life made hell for ages. It's so difficult when your dealing with someone who cannot rationalize like the rest of us. In fact it's a bl***y nightmare!!
If that is the case then maybe you either shouldn't post your feelings about her for the world to share, instead confide them to a counsellor or trusted friend if you need to let off steam. Alternatively ensure that you and her are unidentifiable when you post!
But there's a difference between
Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2008 1:52 pm
But there's a difference between posting on the web, knowing that your caree isn't interested, and having it published in a magazine: this is why it's important to get the permission issue right.
Christine has always asked me
Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2008 2:39 pm
Christine has always asked me if she wants to reprint anything I have written - I like to have the chance to proofread it and I think its just good manners. Sometimes things are posted in haste, and its very easy to imagine that stuff you post here is just between friends and invisible to the wider world.
Sadly one or two of the small one-man and a dog carers forums run by people banned from here for breaking the house rules are so short of original material that they have no hesitation in taking material from this site to cast nasturtiums - or worse. Its a very unpleasant experience being at the receiving end of this kind of behaviour and I would suggest that folk never reveal any information that can be traced to them or their carees personally.
Some folk have asked me what a nasturtium is in this context, so here goes: it might cheer you up and inspire green-fingered thoughts for next year!
Good idea Sarniajoy, but this
Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2008 2:46 pm
Good idea Sarniajoy, but this site keeps my sanity in order. I do agree though as I feel I'm talking behind her back at times and feel an awful guilt. I cant win really
Have a lovely Christmas with your family. I loved the picture of your son and grandson by the way. Heart warming.
pete this is why we
Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2008 2:50 pm
pete this is why we have a carers forum,
and please do not feel guilty, there are
a lot of carers who read the posts on
this forum who do not have much time to
post and get a lot of information, support
and enjoyment from just reading.
I shouldn't want my younger
Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2008 4:36 pm
I shouldn't want my younger son to see some of the things I have written here, but there have been several times this year, that I have clung to this site, and everyone here for a shoudler to cry on. I don't have many close friends, they fade awy over the years, when I keep having to turn down invitations due to my caring role.
Most of the time, I am quite happy if my family know what I write, but sometimes it is the only way to stop me walking out the front door. After being a Carer for so many years,I know of two local mothers,also Carers, who have walked out on their life and started again without their families.I worked with one, and have heard a lot of criticism, (old workmates tend to ask my opinion, becuase of my caring role), and I always point out that it is hard work bringing up a child with a disability, never mind trying to keep a marriage alive, and bringing up other children, and unless they have done it for so many years, then please don't criticise;it won't have been a decision made on the spur of the moment.
I had the same email
Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2008 7:11 pm
I had the same email advising me they would use my comments, but I don't mind.
Keep talking Pete, it's nice for us to get a picture of your family - don't feel bad. Isn't it strange how we feel guilty telling people how tough our lives are being a carer, but other people think nothing of telling you all their problems when you see them and they don't feel bad about it? Odd.
I agree with Excalibur about
Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2008 7:52 pm
I agree with Excalibur about sharing only what you're comfortable sharing about your private life. But don't let it stop you from posting.
I'm sorry if I
Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2008 10:20 am
I'm sorry if I wasn't clear in my PM. The reason for writing to you was to give you the opportunity to object to us printing the thread if you wish to. The magazine will not go to print until after Christmas and as such, if you are uncomfortable with us printing any of your comments I am more than happy to remove them.