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Crisis what can I do ? - Page 3 - Carers UK Forum

Crisis what can I do ?

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I've had a message left on our answering machine from the equipment company saying they'd been asked to get some items for us and could I let them know when they could bring them.

I'm back in a spin again. I've got to move mum's bed out and possibly the dining table too and then they'll bring this bed and the hoist and we'll have to sit here looking at them unable to do anything until we get trained by the Occupational Therapist.

I know the sight of it if it is in front of her, will unsettle my mum. She has dementia and likes things to remain either unchanged or looking homely.

I know I need something to help me lift mum. I wonder if I can move it out of sight in between using it. If she feels nervous on it then the sight of it is going to feel threatening.
I'm coming up with negative thoughts I know. I know it's wrong to do that but I know nobody else will be thinking of her now and just determined to get us to accept what they want us to have.
I'd like to feel I have some control as feeling out of control stresses me out a lot.
Added to the fact that I don't think we've been listened to and are having to accept something I doubt we will ever use... the bed.
I'd like to just get her on and off the recliner. Are the beds huge things ?
I wish I could see one to know if they are the same as a single bed.
Maybe I'm just panicking here and writing so much because I'm so stressed out.
My son has an electric bed and I really don't know how we would manage without it. Its slightly wider and slightly longer than an ordinary single bed (which can make getting sheets to fit a pain at times - especially since he has a pressure relief mattress on top of the mattress the bed come with), The height goes up and down and he can raise the head and foot of the bed by himself using the controller it comes with. This is a godsend when he has a chest infection as he can put the head of the bed up and down as he likes without constantly getting us out of bed every time.

With regards to the manual hoist - to be honest when we had a mobile hoist it was mainly used to dry the washing on - it was great for the sheets lol. We told them to take it back. If you don't want the equipment tell them to take it back - just refuse delivery when they try to deliver it - there's nothing they can do and they will return it to the stores. They are simply bullying you into doing what they want. You must feel like telling them to get stuffed!

We use an electric ceiling hoist in his bedroom in combination with a horseshoe cut out seat on his shower chair which is positioned over the clos o mat toilet. The toilet washes and blow dries his bottom when he has finished using it. We then wheel him through to his bedroom. I put two large garbage bags (the thick ones usually used for rubble) on top of his sheet with a large towel on top of them and any drying required gets done on the bed.

Hope this info is of some help.

Hi scruffy, hope everything is ok.
Hello scruffy, hope it all works out alright, why don't you ask if you can view the bed first, or maybe they can give you the measurements so you can work how how big it will be?
Phoebe x
We've had the hoist for a few days. Had a very short demonstration. They didn't put mum in it or try me in it as previously said. When I didn't understand something she said about the straps she said 'don't worry, I'll go over it again in a minute' but she never did. She asked me to put it on her and position her over the commode bowl, the lid seat was in place. I thought I'd got her positioned ok but she said I'd got I wrong and that it was a sign I needed help. I've been put under considerable pressure to agree to outside help but mum and I have continually said we dont want anyone.

We hadn't been able to accept the bed due to space needed for work that will be done at he house. She wasn't happy that we had refused the bed, even though it was temporary. She hadn't been happy that mum was sleeping in the room to begin with because the fire needed changing. Then she wasn't happy that there is no bed in the room as I had taken it upstairs. Then she wasn't happy about mum sleeping on her recliner. It seems that no matter what I do it is wrong. I have had to bring the bed back downstairs again now and it's really tiring on top of everything else. She hadn't been happy that the hoist couldn't go under the divan. I've put the bed on risers now as we had a spare set in the shed.

I am tentatively trying to use the hoist but feel that it might be used against me that I have. I'm not swinging mum between places, just raising her up and putting her back down.

I found the manual online and printed it off. The OT said it needs two people to operate it but she is pestering us to have outside help. Nowhere in the manual does it say it needs two people and all the diagrams show one person using it. On you tube one person seems to manage.

I would really love to know how to change her and change her tena pants on this hoist. I may need to start using a different type of incontinence protection.
Scruffy, you can't change her when she's in the hoist, it's only for moving from one place to another.

Your ot might not be happy, but surely she can see that you have done everything that has been asked of you and it's not your fault that everything isn't as it should be.
To get it as she wants the first thing needed was the fire to be done, which meant the bed had to be moved and there wasn't room for the hospital bed until this had been done.
So you really had no choice but to defer delivery until later.
But you would still need to be able to move your Mum from chair to commode anyway, unless the ot expects your Mum not to get out of bed at all, wherever the bed is.

Have you thought about writing down exactly what you need and why, now, this minute, to help both of you while everything that needs to be sorted around you (fire etc.) is done.
It will make it clearer to you to have it on paper, you won't get flustered trying to explain and the ot might then see what the problem really is. And that it's not you 'being awkward'.
And if she doesn't, you could try talking to her boss.
Oh Myrtle you have shown me that it is possible to understand this whole predicament. The way the OT has been I was wondering if it was possible to grasp the need for the sequence of events to happen as they've had to.
I was getting the impression she had had a common sense bypass or was being deliberately dim for some reason.

The bed is back downstairs now but I haven't attempted to use the hoist to move her between places. I've been lifting her up off her recliner, changing the absorbent sheet and her taped pants that I've got lying on top of the absorbent sheet. Then I clean her up, put cream on and sit her back down.

The OT didn't show me everything or explain things fully about moving mum so I downloaded the manual. I asked her to explain something she had told me and she said 'don't worry I'll go over it again in a minute' but she never did.
She hadn't wanted to come and show me at all when she found I hadn't accepted the bed as well as the hoist but then changed her mind but was reluctant to go into detail.

I'd love to be able to move mum onto her bed with this but I'm still wary of it and doing everything so slowly, making sure its all ok and constantly checking.
Sometimes ot's can't see beyond their own noses and what they think you want. And yes, we have had one like that before too Image

The ot does have a boss you know and if I were you I'd consider getting in touch with the boss and say that you are not happy to have equipment that you have no choice but to use due to your circumstances that hasn't been demonstrated or explained properly and if anything happens to your Mum (not that it's going to) while using it, you are going to hold them totally responsible.
You need someone with a bit of sense to come and sort this out.

Just wish I was near enough so you could come and see how easy it is for one person to use them.
A Mobile Myrtle....now there is a brilliant idea. Troubleshooting up and down the country when OT`s and their like are being stubborn and dimwitted.xx
A Mobile Myrtle....now there is a brilliant idea. Troubleshooting up and down the country when OT`s and their like are being stubborn and dimwitted.xx
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