Crisis,need help, advice and support

[Honey Badger]

I feel like the consultant being sick (which itself is fine, we all get ill) is a deflective answer to avoid giving a real one on the issue.

They have to have somebody else available with the authority to make critical decisions in relation to patient care/treatment, and they know this.

Establishing Mum's capacity should of been the first thing they look to do once stable/out of the danger zone.
If is is the case that Mum is locked in because of poor physical health, but is functioning fine mentally then they could be acting illegally.. and you should be included in all of this process, not sidelined by them.

[Freetoleave]

Thank you, fellow travellers, one and all. This forum is proving invaluable.

I have followed the first parts of this advice already and shall now set about digesting the other advice and links in readiness for tomorrow's Multi-Disciplinary Team meeting- which I finally got myself invited to despite the hospital's surprise and reluctance: "No-one has ever asked to be at one our team meetings before".

I shall definitely read up on mental capacity etc.

Care home will get back to me re.sending a manager to meet Mum and establish her needs.

I have spoken to the rest of the family and to Mum's best friend and have outlined my actions and plans they have all been v supportive.
But you people, where on earth would I be without you? Thank you, thank you. (Must stop now as getting emotional).

[Chris From The Gulag]

Your welcome.

Emotional ?

So am I this mourning ... missing out on the Scousers to win 4-0 at 120-1 !

[Freetoleave]

Yes,what a result for Liverpool.

Ok, so thanks to you people I followed advice and attended MDT meeting today.
Mum definitely has ongoing health needs that are best met in a hospital setting. Mum understands this and seems comfortable and well cared-for (although that wasn't the case the other day,they seem to have "upped their game" since I saw Matron etc.

No plans to discharge her any time soon. Her condition is being actively monitored and her meds adjusted.The consultant saw her this morning and will see her weekly. I'm now in the loop and feel much happier. But knackered. Can't remember what I'd be doing in real life.Not sleeping well. Just cancelled the holiday we were taking for 4 days from Sat.

[bowlingbun]

That sounds better for mum, but I'm sorry you have decided to cancel your holiday, but understand that there is only so much anyone can cope with.
After the meeting you know that mum is OK, so it's time for you to start looking after yourself better. Every time you think "I must..." give yourself a good talking to.

You don't HAVE TO do anything in the next few days, except rest and give yourself a "Holiday at Home" instead. Meals out, up late, read a book, put some music on, whatever helps you relax. If you can't sleep, get something mild from your GP.

Many of us have found that it's only when the pressure is off that we realised just how shattered we really are. I call it "Falling over the Cliff of Tiredness". You have been warned!

[Freetoleave]

Thanks Bowlingbun. I needed "permission" for a break and you have just supplied it!

I've booked tickets for a concert with friends tomorrow night and may go and see Tolkien at the cinema on Sat. (Not really a fan of LOTR but hey).
It's band practice on Sunday afternoon and the rest of the time will be spent in the garden or flumping about reading Circe.

[bowlingbun]

Enjoy, keep reminding yourself you are going to have a Holiday At Home.

[Freetoleave]

Update: so Mum spent 6 or so weeks getting re-ablement input from physic, OT etc.
They tried to discharge her early and whenI asked about checklist they said "negative" but later admitted this was incorrect.
I requested fast-track assessment. Meeting arranged. Was told she wouldn't meet criteria (I argued rapid deterioration). Decision tool -MDTmeeting, surprise surpriseMum's needs evaporate when "managed".

She has rare degenerative condition akin to motor neurone disease and heart failure. Can't mobilise without assistance, doubly incontinent (urinarycatheter sever constipation) oedema legs/feet. Suffers unpredictable blackouts. Neurologist made referral recently to palliative care team. Nonresponse yet.

She was discharged to own home with x4 carer visits a day.24 hours later she had a fall. A&E kept her overnight and she went to their "holding bay". physio phoned this morning to say she was being discharged today. I said NO WAY (I'm currently 200miles away).

help and advice v welcome

[bowlingbun]

Stick to your guns and stay away, I know it's horrible, but the only way, apparently, that people do their jobs properly.

Did you see the forms for the CHC Assessments??
Mobility/risk of falls should clearly be the highest category now!

Mum still has needs, a well managed need is still a need!
She has a right to an entirely NEW ASSESSMENT before discharge, after this latest event.

Have they checked that the carers are still available to care for mum immediately???

Chase up the palliative care referral.

[Chris From The Gulag]

CHC / NHS Continuing Healthcare / NHS Nursing Funded Care ?

Oh yes , mentioned and link posted earlier !