Crisis,need help, advice and support

[Freetoleave]

You understand the problem, Mrs Average.
I spoke to the care agency today and that was v informative. Their staff find it easier to care for people who are bedridden rather than the walking wobbly. Not surprising really.

[Freetoleave]

Developments: I went to see a nursing home today. It's down the road, very new, friendly, well-appointed, good facilities, big rooms, good range of activities, in an area Mum has always fancied living. Cheaper than the posh one Mum originally fancied. QUESTION Should I hold out for CHC assessment and the heartache that goes with it or should I just say "yes' and get Mum there asap. (They will hold the room for a fortnight for an affordable price).

OPINIONS AND ADVICE V WELCOME

[Chris From The Gulag]

Would you buy a used car without first taking it for a test drive ?

You may like it ... what about mother ?

( I had that problem with a daycare centre placement some 20 odd years ago ... only 6 hours , 2 days a week
... virtual brand new ( Closed in 2004 ) ... staff seemed amicable ... mother hated it ! )

Any chance of a temporary placement ... see if it stacks up inside and well as outside ?

If CHC funding is involved ... would they agree with you and elect to fund in the same home ???

If the application is rejected , will funds be available for your mother to become a resident there ?

[bowlingbun]

Realistically, mum needs to be in a care home now.

Why not ask mum what she thinks, so that in future she can't say "YOU put me in this place and I HATE IT! ?
If mum makes the choice, then mum also has to take responsibility. It's all about exercising some choice, and feeling involved in your own future. CHC could take some time.
However you MUST check that the home will accept CHC funded residents before yo do anything further. Apologies if you've done this already.

[Freetoleave]

Thanks, Chris and BB, as always you raise very good points.
If we were to go down the Discharge to assess route, I think the CCG has to do so within a certain time frame. 28 days? No doubt that is rarely adhered to.
Mum is currently bed-blocking (although after one failed discharge they haven't put a lot of pressure on me to get her out yet).

It's like playing poker. (I don't, so am having to learn the rules "on the hoof").

The logistics of getting her out of her acute bed to have a look-see at the nursing home are just beyond me right now. We had a nice long chat about it yesterday and she seemed fine with it, but you guys know better than me how contrary our carees can be and who it is that gets the blame when caree feels aggrieved.

So. I'm just going to buy some time. Thanks again for ongoing support. This is the best forum for tailored advice, by miles. Hope all is going ok for you in careland at the moment.

[Chris From The Gulag]

Your welcome.

I hope that the " Bible " ( Hospital discharges ) is now your specialist subject for Mastermind ?

CHC / NHS Continuing Healthcare ... in reserve for the final ?

( Worth considering ... automatically awarded 5 points head start ... few would ever consider it ! )

[bowlingbun]

When I had a similar problem, I told mum that I would go and see one home every day, then visit her in hospital (by this time out of the acute hospital and finally at the hospital just a mile away) and tell her about each one in turn, what it was like, what the grounds were like, and give her a brochure for the home. It also showed the hospital that I was doing something about discharge.
Mum and I have similar tastes, she trusted me to tell it how it was, what the vacant room looked like, etc. etc. Then mum felt that she had some say in choosing where she wanted to be.

In the end the only vacancy when she was finally ready to leave hospital was the best one in the area less than 2 miles away. Especially good news as one of the directors of the company that owned it is my next door neighbour. I "accidentally on purpose" mentioned this at the home one day, I'm sure this helped mum get good care at times!! Every so often neighbour would ask if mum and I were happy with things there.

[Freetoleave]

I spent most of Friday in meetings/conversations/complaints with NHS and CCG staff trying to work out which direction leads out of the crazy maze. I am no wiser but have very clearly seen at least one shameless health "professional" lying through their teeth.

It's like being trapped in dystopian version of your own life and every door you open brings a fresh torment. Some torments will eventually provide enlightenment but you can't tell which ones because they all present with a smile and a name-tag.

Meanwhile other huge, happy things are happening to other close family-members but I'm too knackered to celebrate them.

It's almost as though - surely not - the government WANTS us to blame health professionals for a broken system so that we will acquiesce in its demise.