Thank you both so much, but she doesn't want to be in Glasgow any more!
Right now, I've just arrived back with her here down south, and her flat is on the market, and I have got a 'reserve' on a rental flat that is as close to me as possible. Costs a fortune, but I hope she'll try it.
I don't know whether she will, and I don't know whether, even if she does, I can cope with having her so close. We'll see. I'll give it a go anyway, I owe her that much - as in, it's only fair to give it a chance. If I really can't cope, then I'm afraid I'll be in touch with her other son in the USA and basically say 'over to you, I can't do any more!'(I might then run away to live in Spain!!!!) .
But we'll see. I may settle to the new set up, and it may be perfectly doable after all, and if it does work, then great all round. I still 'dread' the idea that she could live for another ten years, and these last six months have at least taught me what my priorities are, and what I definitely cannot do (ie, have her live with me) but still not sure what I can do (ie, whether I can cope wth having her 'in my life' for the rest of her life....)(unless her life is a lot less than ten years....)(which I feel horrible saying, but in the end, it's her life or mine....it's that brutal alas....)
Thank you again everyone! Jenny (v. tired after driving down from Glasgow today - still , at least it was only six and a half hour drive - driving up the day before yesterday took nine hours as the M6 was closed and it was a nightmare!)