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day off - Carers UK Forum

day off

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Dear All. Time for a good whinge I guess. I have a day off work today. I nagged Mum all last week to book an appointment to see her GP as she's not been feeling well for weeks - then I would book Special Leave. I had a feeling that she would wait until my day off today to book the appointment. How right I was. As soon as I stirred this morning (well - nice to have a lie in on your day off eh?) she told me that she had book an appointment round the doctor's.
I had a day off at Easter and in the morning she said "I think I need to go to the doctor.." I said "Surely not today!"
Why would she always wait until I have a day off? I have told her repeatedly that I can book Special Leave and that she does not need to wait until I'm off. Does she think I like it round the doctor's on my day off?
Maybe she's worried that too much special leave will lose your job for you, or that it's too much trouble for you. Far better not to be any trouble... Image

One of my favourite and well used phrases for my caree is "It is more bother trying to cope with you trying not to be a bother than it would be if you were just the bother in the first place".

It is about making a wee plan like a lie in or a trip to an shop in a different area. As carers we dont ask for a great deal of free time so any wee plan made is important to us.

Little Lamb
I know just what you mean. I used to do a lot for my auntie and uncle like take her shopping and to the drs or anything like that. I would tell her if I was gonna be doing something with my own family on a certain day and she would ring to ask if I could 'just run me up the .... ( wherever)' . In the end it became too much and I suffered health wise and couldnt do it anymore and her daughter had to take over, albeit she lived 20 miles away I couldnt keep it up doing all the running about etc. Even now it peeves me a bit when I tell my husband I would like a day at home to potter about as I want to in my garden or in the house catching up on jobs that need doing, and he says that he wants me to drive him out somewhere. I dont mind as I am his full time carer ,, but it does get a bit annoying at times. I just hold my breath and count to ten!
I Know exactly what you mean, it happens to me too.
Thanks for all the replies. Last week she asked if she should put the TV remote on the coffee table and, after a short exchange, I said that I could walk back and fore across the room a hundred times and it would take only a fraction of the effort that it takes her to cross it once - I'll bear in mind the It's More of a bother bothering about bothering than just bothering.
Next time I have such a day off I might be sure to book a doctor appointment for mother scheduled for the following day - or the day following so that, if (when) she says she wants to go round the doctor's, I can advise her that I have booked her an appointment.
Now for something completely different (perhaps I should start a new thread - or update a thread which I have previously created) - the stairlift is to be installed on Thursday 9th June - and the access adaptations work commences (weather permitting) the following week. This lot should change things quite a bit round here.
Hope all goes well with the stairlift Thisguy. I know how you feel cos when I was in the A+E department of our local hospital with my hubby when he was taken in for the last stroke, in the next cubicle an man was there with his mum who wouldnt shut up. He kept telling her to please be quiet mum but she just went on and on and he said to the nurses and drs there that he cannot be doing with all this anymore its driving him crazy,, he said he has a brother in new zealand who doesnt give two hoots and he is left to deal with his mum. He lived with his wife and his mum lives nearby but shes on the phone to him all the time and he has to keep going round there. The drs didnt really understand why he had broght his mum in but he said look listen my mum needs assessing as shes definatley not right,,, he couldnt get socail services to help him and they were his last resort,, he said if they didnt see to his mum he would walk out and leave her there aas he had enough of it all. I felt so sorry for him but also sorry for his mother as she plainly cannot help how she was. She was rambling on and on and not making any sense. The man kept telling them he thinks she has dementia or some sort but the gp wont get her assessed.
Anyway... about the tele remote.. why cant she have one near her and you get another one to keep by you. And yes you are right to prebook an appointment so you will be prepared. Us carers have to think ahead dont we!! Best of luck to you.
Thanks corgiee. In a week or so, when some of the work is to commence, Mother will stay with a relative. I plan opt do some chilling - but not total-chilling as I'll have to be available to give the contractors access to the premises first thing in the morning and throughout the day. Still - some semi-chilling.
I have suggested another TV remote but she doesn't like that idea.
Hiya Thisguy.... just buy a remote and keep it with you. Dont let her know. Wish you a good sunday and hope you get some peace when the work begins. Am off now to me bed before tomorrow begins ,,,,,,, night night. Image
Thanks corgiee but, if she did not know that I had a remote, she would still feel that she had to hand me the remote as she left the room.