Communicating with officials who won't listen

[butterfly68]

Hi there. Just wondering how other carers have dealt with uncooperative officials who give the impression they want to help, then things go down-hill and it ends up being a power struggle when trying to get your views heard and respected?

[bowlingbun]

I have 38 years of experience of this!!!

Who is not listening, and what do you want them to do?

[butterfly68]

Like I've posted in a previous post my advocacy support worker. He now wants to lay down his rules about what time is spent we're in communication and what limits there are - meaning what he can help with (he's explained previously - what the issues are, aren't anything overstepping that: just him not as helpful as he made me believe). Which I've found is his tactic in dealing with a list of problems he's causing me I emailed him the other day. He is eager for us to meet up to discuss things. But in the past I've found he says one thing one time and another time, causing me more stress and anxiety. I hoped better from this advocacy 'support' worker with him part of MIND. I'm feeling I cannot talk to him with how difficult things have got. Just today I phoned to check if he was in, then again in the afternoon. I ended up asking the call handler to ask this advocate to read emails I sent as that would be simpler. The response I got from this advocate was that he'll phone me tomorrow. Like I can drop everything for him, but he's always unavailable when I need to deal with things. Sick of things always being a 1-way street and them calling all the shots, when he claims to want to support me.

[Honey Badger]

Hi there. Just wondering how other carers have dealt with uncooperative officials who give the impression they want to help, then things go down-hill and it ends up being a power struggle when trying to get your views heard and respected?

Sum up my average day.

You need to just give up on the respect part it simply will not happen because nobody likes to effectively be told to suck eggs no matter how incorrectly they are applying themselves to the situation.

Just making sure you are at least heard, because when the situation does blow up in their faces they can't attempt to shift the blame onto you to make up for their own arrogance.

I can appreciate the role of advocacy as someone that has fought the corner of others outside of my caring role in the past in various roles however years of cuts and a culture which in a short space of time has allowed us as a society to go backwards socially decades leaves me underwhelmed with how bad things have gotten.

I do have recent experience engaging/working alongside advocates on behalf of a caree and found the experience to be borderline obtuse in the level of unprofessionalism (lack of proper researching on their part of the "client") while I'm fully aware of the voluntary based nature of many of these organizations there are still standards and basic expectations to pay your dues/do your homework as you are performing a role which can make/break lives.

I hate negative vibes and I am very sorry I could not give you something more positive.
I have an awful lot going on to where I'm barely holding things together here and just when you feel like your getting somewhere, you get knocked 2 steps back, it is simply soul destroying.. so I feel for your situation.