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Clashes with Carers - Carers UK Forum

Clashes with Carers

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Hi Everyone,

Myself and my family are in desperate need of advice.

My Dad requires 2 carers, twice a day due to needing to be hoisted. This has been in place since January 18.

This is obviously a massive change for my Mum as she has cared for my Dad for 30+ years.

The carers write down fictional times, making out they have been there longer, and have made a few complaints saying they have damaged themselves using the hoist (nothing was mentioned to my mum or dad from the carers), that my Mum is aggressive (she really isn't) and the latest is that a bedside table hasn't been removed from my Dad's bedside as they think he may injure himself (nothing has ever been mentioned to either of my parents about this, plus there is no way he could hurt himself).

A meeting is being forced by the care company and the social workers with my parent's, and we are scared they might say they are withdrawing their care. Can they do this? If they do is my Dad then forced to go into a home? We want to avoid this at all costs and it isn't what any of us want.
We feel like we cannot report any issues as the care company have already complained about them - my parent's are very upset by this and feel we have no where left to turn.

Can anyone offer any advice? Is our only option to try and fund private care?

Thanks in advance.
Hi Sarah,
In the past we had to change a care company - surely if the current care company is not behaving correctly your parents could change to another, or is it difficult in their area? Private care should not be the only option. I assume your parents do not have so much in savings that they can fund their own care and so care is funded by the LA for them?

Apart from that, I don't quite understand the situation. Is your father a long-term invalid or very old, in that your mother has been caring for him for over 30 years? It will certainly be tough for her to accept outside carers coming in.

I don't understand how the carers can complain that they hurt themselves using the hoist. Were they badly trained or was there some other reason? Did the bedside table you mention get in their way?

The first problem that strikes me about the situation is that it sounds as if the carers themselves are talking to your parents but not to you, the care company has complained - but to who? It really sounds as if a meeting with the care company, the social workers, your parents and you (you say 'we', so maybe you and your husband or brother or sister?) would be the best thing. It sounds as if there is a lot of hearsay. You certainly ought to be able to speak openly about problems, but everyone involved needs to understand what they are. Has your mother been so anxious that the carers have interpreted it as aggressive? What is the care company management doing?

Personally I would not worry too much about the fictitious times as long as the care is being given. You need to find out together with your parents what compromises you might have to make to avoid a home, or whether the relationship with the carers or the company is so bad that they ought to be replaced.

Sorry if this reply is a mess, as I don't know enough about the situation and don't know where to start looking at it.
Hi, Thanks for replying.

We are trying to change companies, but as you mention, there aren't enough in the area.

My dad is very much 'with it' and so is my mum. Its all down to him not being able to weight bare, and he has extremely limited movement in his right arm. His mobility is so bad he actually developed bed sores after 2 days in hospital (he then contracted sepsis but this was due to the shoulder operation which was why he was there). Before his fall however, they had no outside help and my Dad was able to walk, albeit with the use of a frame.

My Parents are currently paying for the care, but there is a cap in our area which is why they have to go through the social worker. They are by no means wealthy, but are using their life savings. Unfortunately the social workers (they have had a couple) haven't been much support to them.
I forgot to mention the carers have also damaged things, but when my mum speaks to the social worker its very much their word against my parents.

All trust has gone as things are being said that just aren't true. My mum really isn't aggressive, and hasn't been rude to them at all. Neither has my dad.

With regards to the injury we don't know where it came from. Nothing has ever been said directly from them to my parents - it just came as a complaint via the social worker. The Table is a hospital one (which is on wheels) which is in no way obstructive. News of this came from the social worker.

My parents are trying to deal with this themselves but it is extremely upsetting, especially when people are saying things that are untrue. I am writing this as we need to know what we can do (if anything) as as I mentioned the people who we are meant to go to (the social worker) hasn't helped us since day one, and seems to take the carers side.

Could they force my dad into a care home?
Hi Sarah

I feel for you, I have had many clashes with Carers myself. You have mention quite a few problems.
1. In terms of times, most care companies use the clients home to record when they arrive or depart, you can buy a handset that will monitor this for you. BT Advanced Phone. Some of my Mum's Carers said they were there an hour and they had been in house 8 mins!.
2. You can change Care agencies as other posts have said. We did this twice, both arranged by Social Worker, both the same. We then looked very closely at County Council Invoice and the Fair Banding System. Not sure if CC are funding or self pay. We then went to Direct Payments and arranged own care for Mum. We have found this very straight forward and pay invoices once a month.

Please do not worry they are unlikely to use a care home while your Dad has family support. There many not be many Care Agencies on the County Council Register, but shop around there are more than you think and quite a lot of self employed carers.

I hope this has been useful.

Take Care
Thanks - its nice to hear that people understand.

I am attending the meeting at the end of this week with my parents (they need someone there as there will be a whole host of people descending on their home!) so hopefully something positive will happen - either with the carers (I doubt it!) or by perhaps shopping around, like you say.

Hi Sarah,
Thanks for the further information. It is very difficult if you have a useless social worker. I know all about that! I think that your specific carers should be changed, so is the care company manager useless too? I was always aware what a strain they were all under, and that I might appear to be overreacting, but the company should have details of who said what relating to injury and hoist problems, so if the company can't help, you do need another company. I suppose you need two carers at once, as my brother did, and that was always harder for the careworkers to sort out their timing or to find another company. We were lucky in that the only other company that would do double-handed care in our area was good. I wish you all the best with it. I am not sure if you can complain to someone else within the LA about the social worker - others may have more advice there.
Thanks Greta.

It feels like they are all ganging up against us - the manager of the carers is not much better. Its such a tricky, and upsetting situation to be in.
The thing is, the hoist really isn't difficult to maneuver - me an my mum manage it no problem at all!
If I was there all the time everyday we wouldn't have this issue, but I have my own family and a job to keep up with.
We are afraid if we request to change in social workers, it could be another mark against us as being awkward!

I know so many other people have similar issues, but its heartbreaking to be in it. My poor Dad is so down by it all.

I am hopeful we will find a positive solution.