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Carers UK Forum •Caring for the Carers
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Caring for the Carers

Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 4:00 am
by NanaNana
As mentioned previously in this section, who cares for the Carers??? You're right - there will be nobody to look after us when we're older and in need of it. Given up work, given up friends, family think you're fine and don't give any help anyway... so who is there? Where will the money come from? Pension? Hmm, not now we've given up work, not paying stamps any more. Six weeks on and I'm still struggling with my pleurisy. Nobody tucks me up in bed or makes sure I drink enough hot drinks etc. Have to look after myself and we all know that that is the LAST thing we do. Everyone looks after our loved ones (yes, rightly so), but nobody ensures that WE'RE all right, they just presume we are fine. We are just expected to go on and on and on and on - no matter what, by everybody else, loved ones included who can't understand why we're (I'm) so bad tempered and sad all the time. But none of us are getting any younger and our health definately suffers from being Carers (mental and physical) and when is it all going to end? Where will we be when we're in need of full-time care, who will do it? I don't think we're feeling sorry for ourselves, just need a bit of relief and a break from all this. Like I said long ago, professionals go home at the end of their shift and don't give 'caring' another thought until their next shift. When can we go home at the end of ours???

Hi Frandrake, Sorry you're feeling so

Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 7:52 am
by susieq
Hi Frandrake,

Sorry you're feeling so low. I can't answer any of your questions as they're the same ones that plague me as well Image Image But just wanted to give you a virtual hug - you're too far away from Surrey for me to give you a real one Image

(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

susieq

Thanks, Susie, for that much

Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 9:19 am
by NanaNana
Thanks, Susie, for that much needed hug.

frandrake, have a (((((((hug))))))). I have

Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 10:26 am
by Lazydaisy
frandrake, have a (((((((hug))))))).

I have only had chest infections since becoming a fulltime Carer, and they are bad enough;to have pleurisy, and not be able to rest must be a nightmare.It is at times like this that we all miss being the children we were, and having our Mum's tuck us into bed, and our Gran's brushing our hair and washing our face with a flannel.I even remember having my appendix out, aged 10, and my Dad feeling helpless, so sending in 2 packets of Golden Wonder salt'n'vinegar crisps every day, as they were my favourite, even though we only had them on special occasions.

I hope that you start to feel better soon, and you get plenty of virtual hugs on here.

love Jane x

I'm totally with you on

Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 4:31 pm
by Itza
I'm totally with you on this frandrake.

What you've written is also the point I've been trying, unsuccessfully, to hammer home to my mother who is under the illusion that I'm somehow going to be able to care for her in her old age AS WELL AS caring for my disabled son. Just where does she get off?

I was sent home from work today because I've got a rotten cold and a painful chesty cough c/w phlegm. Someone said I may have a chest infection. I tried to call the Dr but the only two appointments available were 3.15pm and 4pm. Ideally I needed one earlier or later than those times because my son gets home anywhere between 3.30pm - 4pm and until my husband gets in from work at 6pm, we have no other familial support.

I may try again tomorrow but what's the point if I can't get to a freaking appointment.

I wish my mother would understand!

Itza, have you registered with

Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 5:01 pm
by Lazydaisy
Itza, have you registered with your GP as a Carer for your son?

Last time I phoned up and said I needed to see a Dr asap, they were ready to put me off for a month, I said I was a Carer and really was desperate to see a Dr, and they found me an appointment within an hour. (and it was the Dr of my choice).They will also come out to the house, if it is too difficult to leave a caree.I wouldn't need to do that, but you may find your surgery could do that for you.

Good luck.

Our GP will do a

Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 5:22 pm
by poppett
Our GP will do a home visit for carer no problem if caree can`t be left.

Hope you feel better soon

Take care
Meg

Oh, I don't know Lazydaisy.

Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 5:26 pm
by Itza
Oh, I don't know Lazydaisy. They don't advertise the fact; there's nothing that suggests it on their website. But I'll ask at the surgery tomorrow.

I don't know about home visits. I don't ask for them because years ago my husband called for a home visit for our youngest and was told we were too far away from Dr and needed to register with a surgery closer to our address. That was daft because we were in temporary accommodation at the time (sold our house before we managed to buy another so saw no need to register elsewhere). We've never needed to ask for another call out since.

I only signed up with our current practice because it's accessible. We had to leave the last practice when my youngest son was born 12 years ago because we had a twin buggy and could no longer physically get in the door of the last practice (hence the move to this one) and also some of the consulting rooms were upstairs so I envisaged a lot of problems staying at that practice.

I feel very sorry for

Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 5:28 pm
by Pete the Paint
I feel very sorry for you long time Carers on here. I,ve just had a terrible day with Jill. She's only gone and caught Gastroenteritis!! Now I know what Hugh Marriott meant by "The messy stuff" in his book "The selfish Pigs Guide to Caring". I've been clearing up all day. I think the worst is over now and I'm knackered!! Image Oh dear, spoke too soon!

Itza, your going to have to put your foot down with a firm hand I'm afraid. Your Mum should know better by now. If she goes on expecting you to one day Care for her as well as your Son, then I'm sorry but she's just damn selfish and you'll have to put her straight once and for all. Even if you have to spell it out for her in writing. My Mother was a lot like that. She seemed to think that it was our God given right to look after her when she could no longer manage. It was an old school idea I think. I'm 66 and I've made it quite clear to my three kids that they owe me nothing. The've got there lives to lead and should the need arise, then I'll find a nice care home (I hope) and live out my last days there.
Besides, you'll probably be a Carer for the rest of your life with your sons disability. Remember, "WHO CARES FOR THE CARER"!
Rant over, but it makes me so wild!

Lots of hugs Image

Pete

Our GPs will not come

Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 5:37 pm
by cotula
Our GPs will not come out to a caree unless they are too ill to go to the surgery. No way would they come out to a carer - they do not even have any special appointment arrangements.

I have had it up to here Image with the surgery to the point that I am looking to change, but there is no chance Dad will, so I am stuck with them.