Jessie, that's a very difficult situation to have had to deal with. In a way, I can well see how you would want to prove to yourself (even if not to your mum) that you were NOT like her, ie, you did NOT renage on what you considered to be your responsibilities, and in a way, one could say that by insisting on caring for her as you did, you emphasised your difference from her in an unarguable way.
Your post also raises the very difficult moral issue of just why some people are selfish in the first place! (Or, of course, unselfish - though I suspect a lot of unselfish people have been 'trained' to be unselfish by selfish parents!)(I still hold that 'Selfish parents havce unselfish children, and unselfish parents have selfish children'!!!).
There may have been 'extenuating' circumstances as to why your mother was as she was - was she treated badly herself as a child, etc? Or perhaps she was just 'badly brought up' - ie, never taught not to think about herself only?
But whatever the reason, if she could never bring herself to behave non-selfishly towards anyone else, including her daughter, then I can't see that a person like that deserves much consideration for others (as they don't feel consideration themselves!), and that no one 'owes' them anything.
But you resolved the situation in the way you saw fit, and I hope that brought you peace of mind, if nothing else.
Kind regards, Jenny
Your post also raises the very difficult moral issue of just why some people are selfish in the first place! (Or, of course, unselfish - though I suspect a lot of unselfish people have been 'trained' to be unselfish by selfish parents!)(I still hold that 'Selfish parents havce unselfish children, and unselfish parents have selfish children'!!!).
There may have been 'extenuating' circumstances as to why your mother was as she was - was she treated badly herself as a child, etc? Or perhaps she was just 'badly brought up' - ie, never taught not to think about herself only?
But whatever the reason, if she could never bring herself to behave non-selfishly towards anyone else, including her daughter, then I can't see that a person like that deserves much consideration for others (as they don't feel consideration themselves!), and that no one 'owes' them anything.
But you resolved the situation in the way you saw fit, and I hope that brought you peace of mind, if nothing else.
Kind regards, Jenny