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Caring for a carer - Carers UK Forum

Caring for a carer

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Still trying to work out my situation, I am a unpaid carer caring for as the government says, someone who cannot manage without help and support.
But the person I am caring for is caring for someone else.
But the person I am caring for cannot care for someone else without help so technically I am caring for 2 people.
Is this possible clearly it is as thats whats happening, but if i do not care for the second person, their carer cannot cope, complicated and more complicated, but what help am I entitled to, how do I get a break when I am effectively providing a break for another carer?
What are my rights in this situation, the second carer is very close to the edge of having a nervous breakdown, so if I say no the second carer will probably end up in hospital and what will happen to the caree, will they end up in the mental health unit, probably I don't know.
Very complicated and try explaining that to someone official, they clearly wouldn't understand.
Hmm, tricky indeed! When you are caring for the carer, what is it you actually do? I ask because I wonder if you are supplying them with 'respite care' for their own caree? In which case, the 'caree' actually has two carers, ie, their main one, and you, their respite one. In which case, that might, from the gov. point of view, simplify matters?? This might sound horrid, but could you formally 'charge' your own caree for the respite you afford, simply so they can then claim this back themselves somehow??
I am not surprised to hear they are heading for a nervous breakdown....I suspect a hell of lot of carers are! And many have gone right over the edge with stress and worry.....

Do hope you get some more recommendations from others here far more expert and experienced in the caring world than I am.

Hello. You clearly take your responsibilities very seriously.

I am finding it difficult to identify what you are asking here. So all I can do for now is to say that I do understand that relationships can be very complicated. Sometimes, standing back from your own situation to evaluate it less emotionally can perhaps feels impossible sometimes? I am simply stabbing a guess in the dark as to how you are feeling.

If I am correct ... Then all I can say it must feel pretty grim right now. I am sorry.
I've been in a similar situation, mum was very disabled when she was caring for dad, at end stage prostate cancer. However, I wasn't claiming any benefits then, so a different situation. It sounds like there is a caree with very high care needs, so lets approach this differently. The caree should have a needs assessment, done by Social Services. Either they can arrange services for the caree OR they can pay the caree a sum of money so they can arrange their own care, and pay their own carers. So if the caree had direct payments, he/she could possibly pay both of you, Carer 1, and Carer 2. Does this sound as if I'm on the right track? The caree, assuming high care needs, could be entitled to either DLA or Attendance Allowance. In turn, they would probably be entitled to extra benefits.
Caring for two people!! wow you are very lucky! I care for my wife, mother in law and 2 of my brothers in law and now need help myself as I have just been diagnosed with a rare medical condition! I am practically running my own homecare business on behalf of the government for an offensive tiny pittance of an income - that said I really hope you get the help you need Image Good luck, you are not alone.
if my memory is working from next year someone who claims a disability benefit cant claim the carers allowance .. thanks to the sun newspaper

respite care from the local authority is not for the carer but for the disabled person .