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decisions, decisions. - Carers UK Forum

decisions, decisions.

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Well, the decision was made this week that mum can't go home. I've had to fight tooth and nail for them to even come to the decision. About 3 weeks ago they moved her to a different hospital over the other side of the city even tho I asked them to put her in a one nearer. It has been a nightmare few weeks that she's been there, its an awful place.
On Tuesday they finally said she can't go home, so i rang the carers place and told them, means I have to make a claim for job seekers allowance, so next I rang them and they asked what have I been doing to look for work!!!! From Tuesday I have no income at all, I have a 16 year old at home as well. Today I have to go to the job centre to make a claim and in a "few" weeks they'll tell me if the claim has been successful, in the meantime I don't know. Strange cause I used to get the carers allowance and it was topped up with income support that was paid a week or two behind, and now I get nothing to live on.
We went to look at care homes yesterday, the first one was a beautiful place, all singing and dancing type, plasma screens in the wall in every room, lights turn on when you walk in. But it didn't feel a homely place, something about it, it wasn't comfortable if you know what I mean. I never actually saw a single resident, god knows where they'd hid them! They didn't give any brochures, didn't even ask us for a contact phone number, i got the impression they took one look at me and thought I was beneath them.
Second place, there were photos of the residence on the wall at a royal wedding party they had, posters up telling the residence and families whats going on over the next 4 weeks, residence sitting in the lounge watching an old black and white film, some still finishing lunch, one old lady was going out in her wheelchair with her family and when she past different staff they were all shouting at her to have a good time and wrap up warm. The office was a mass of clutter, you could hear staff and residents laughing along the corridors. It felt right, homely with lots of hustle and bustle going on. They had one room vacant, they showed us it, its in the middle of being decorated, it faces onto the garden. They gave us brochures and told us to have a wander and let them know, we took it straight away. I'm hoping mum will settle here and be happy, they do emi care and nursing care so this will hopefully be the last time we will need to move her. they are going today to meet mum and asses her, so fingers crossed.
Even tho I'm glad I no longer have to look after mum this has been the hardest decision I've had to make.
Oh, and best off all, when I walk out of the bottom of my street and look along the road i can see the home, so she'll be nice and near.
The second Home you visited sounds lovely.
I know it is a hard decision, but well done, and (((((hugs))))) for having the strength.
Have you contacted Carers UK for adavice about after your 24/7 caring role has ended. You don't neeed hassle at this time from the jobcentre, perhaps they could just let you "pull your mind togther" first.
You will still be a Carer, although not doing as much. You will be popping in and out to see your Mum, keeping a discreet eye on her condition at the Home,generally being the caring person you always have been.
Thinking of you,hope that all is sorted out soon.x
That sounds lovely fin Image
Fin...if they have an extra room in that second one...can you put my name down on the waiting list... Image Image Image Image
It sounds perfect Fin. I know what you mean about some places not having the right feel to them.
Sounds a lovely place, I think you have to go with your gut feeling, I once worked in one of those, 'lovely', 'everything matched', 'not a soul about', homes, and it was flaming awful..My nan went into an authority run, mixed match furniture, happy singing staff, and it was a really lovely , caring place..
Remember, 'gut feeling' and you won't go far wrong. Hope your finances soon work out, good luck x
Fin, sounds a lovely place for your Mum and so near for you to visit too. Hope all goes well with the assessment and she is out of the horrid hospital and settled in very soon. Hope you get some decent advice about sorting out your finances too.

Thanks for all the replies.
well my finances are an utter mess and now the carers place want the carers allownace back for the whole time mum was in hospital, came as a surprise cause the social worker told me things would be ok.

But..................... they've accepted mum Image Image Image I went to see her today and she said a really nice man had been to see her to talk to her about her new place, she thinks its just until she gets on her feet. She said he was lovely, even tho I've explained where it is she cant remember it, but she beamed when I told her that I can actually see the place from the end of my street, I was dreading telling her but she couldn't be happier, says she feels so much better knowing I'm not far away. When we went the first person we saw was a carer with her hair dyed pillar box red and a smile from ear to ear! She said that the man had told her they have a budgie, I said they have and its the fatest budgie I've ever seen. For the first time in months she talking about a future! All going well she'll be there on Wednesday, I can't wait, she can't wait, to hell with all the other problems!

fin Image
YOu sound so happy about your Mum Fin, it is lovely to hear you.
As for the Carers Allowance, I think you need some advice about that. My sister's boyfriend was allowed to keep his for, I believe it was 12 weeks when his father was in hospital. Carers UK have a helpline which will be able to advise you.
That is wonderful Fin Image Image

Get advice on the CA though.