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CARERS TIME BOMB ?????? - Carers UK Forum

CARERS TIME BOMB ??????

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Have just read about the future of health care in relation to carers it stated that some 500 /700-00 0carers are in their mid 50`s (me 57) vast majority unmarried (thats me) it then states that in 15 years many of these carers will have no family members to care for them when their caring duties come to an end many carers are in poor health them selves and as they get older they will put a strain on local authority health care re social services (care homes ) also unless screaned now many will present themselves with illnesses which will impact on the N.H.S. steps must be taken to help carers with increased payments respite care not just for their caree`s but for themselves and better access to health care.

it go`s on and on this is something we often talk about on this forum who will care for the carers looks loke no one will


GEORGE
This disturbs me. It seems to read that family members are EXPECTED to care for their elderly relatives.

I am mid 50s and have cared (out of a sense of duty) for my parent in late 80s for the last 10 years. I am divorced and have a son.

I did not have a child in the expectation that he would look after me in my old age. In fact if there is one thing that my caring has taught me, it is that I will NEVER allow my son to lose his life, as I have done, to caring.
I am told my daughter will never be capable of living on her own - therefore I have resigned myself to the fact I am never going to be married again - I am single now and have been for 3 years. People ask me why I am until I tell them about my disabled daughter and son with special needs.... and my Dad says there is no way I will meet someone in my circumstances... actually inclined to believe him. But yes - I worry that others in general are like me and wonder what the future will hold - I have to sympathise with this thread especially for those older carers.... I think its very clear that society needs to accept that Carer's have rights and Needs too!
When STAN was in hospital (2003) long before he had alzheimers we were told he would be in for the whole weekend getting discharged on the Tuesday as i and my brother plus some of the lads from R.M.T. trade union were doing a charity cycle ride across CUBA we wanted to visit the CUBAN trade office in London we had been invited for a bit of a do so i checked with hospital to make sure STAN would be in till Tuesday however they said he was being discharged on the Saturday i was not very happy as i had not had a day off for about 18 months i told the ward sister about my situation and asked if she could keep STAN in for a couple of days her reply and iam not joking if you get paid for caring for him take him home and look after him i reported her straight away and STANS consultant pulled some strings and they did keep him in i know the health service are not baby siters but this was a big help to me


george
good for you george! Image
When and if I get to the stage where I need to be cared for, I shall top myself. No way are my kids going to be carers and no way will I go into a home.
I couldnt agree more Myrtle.... I am not going to allow my children to waste their lives like that... hopefully by then it will be perfectly legal to be allowed to do that...
and if it isnt tough!!!
Well, this has kinda made me think tonight. Image

I guess I'm in a minority here, our daughter is now caring for OH two nights a week to enable me to sleep.
Although it's not as an unpaid skivvy like we all are - I wouldn't willingly do that to her!
We've got a D.P. to cover her salary.

In our position what would you have done?

OH has complex needs, local authority admit it would take specialist training to cope so what were our choices?

Me go into burnout and unable to continue at all anymore? or sort out a D.P. and let our daughter take over those two nights a week?

We chose the lesser of the two evils, the one we could all live with, this way we all continue to survive. Image

Things are never as cut 'n' dried as you think and in families sometimes hard decisions need to be made.

It's ok to say by choice you wouldn't want your child caring for you, that's the easy part but by necessity in a tough situation it's just not so simple. Image

marie x
Marie,

Yours was a necessity for all your sakes and its great your daughter could step in to help especially since it meant you got a break and your hubby was with someone you and he trusts.Plus your daughter had a choice.

I think what most of us were on about, at least I know I was,was would we want our kids to go through all we have when we are older.Would you want someone you love care for you for a great number of years.

I want my 2 lasses to be able to pursue their dreams etc,to live their life,not feel obligated to care for me.

Rosemary
x x x x

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