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Carers I interview - Page 5 - Carers UK Forum

Carers I interview

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
112 posts
I think the ACE project has closed - I honestly don't know ??
You can try Jobcentre Plus - 0800 055 6688 - their database of job opportunities is pretty good, but they don't offer much practical help, I thought. I guess it depends what kind of advice and support you need: financial, re-training, etc..

Going back to the main topic, we all face a wide variety of caring circumstances, and we have a wide range of skills and needs ourselves, so I would never suggest "one size fits all". The main mistake is to assume that your caring situation is the most important and most common one: this is clearly untrue. Today my son is at college, after college he has a buddy-befriender who will meet him and they will be off to the movies. So, I have been gardening this morning and will head off to work shortly. That suits me fine, and whilst I still am a hands-on carer for over 35 hours a week, my duties are more administrative and organisational than physical: I do provide hands-on support when needed, but that is increasingly rare as my son learns to acquire more skills and is more capable of managing his own time. I expect him, when he is ready, to move into his own tenancy, with support from a housing/care provider and social services, and to either get a job or some other kind of valued occupation. Thats obviously a desirable outcome, for him and for me. So if we get good support, it maybe because we have made the case that it is an excellent investment in encouraging him to aspire to become a valued citizen in his own right, and we are willing to do our bit to help that to happen. I think we all have to make our own case for appropriate help: because nobody is going to do it for us.
First of all list 3 opportunities offered to me that i have refused ,,

the old doll and STAN before her did not choose to be disabled , in the old dolls case that was due to the luftwaffe bombing her anti aircraft heavy ack ack enplacment in Green park 1943 , which resulted in her having 6 months in sick bay , and sadly the use of only one good lung ever since, STAN also did not choose to be disabled, his disability was as a result of being a slave labourer for the mighty German army from July 1940 -- Jan 1945...

i did not choose to be a carer like many carers we drift into the wonderful world of caring by accident .. in my case i was in a good well paid job , and was able to look after STAN, however during an enforced absence from work 1997 i realised that STAN needed full time care , our first choice was a care or rest home , sadly after looking at dozens all over the Newcastle area and Northumberland , Durham not one was fit for purpose , due to his mobility problems he was unable to enter any of the forces care / rest homes as they did not have full time 24/7 care available , i was then offered the chance to take ill health retirement ( yes i was ill due to the care work i had been doing with STAN and working as well ) i honestly thought STAN would last just a few years , then i would return to work , however some 9 years later there i was still looking after him.. upon his death 2006 , i then realised that the old doll was also in need of care ,therefore i began to look after her ... during STANS lifetime he had about 6-8 weeks respite care only 2 of those weeks were of any use ,,, the old doll has had a 2 week respite break which is offered to all war widows , she also had a 2 week respite break after a hospital stay ...the old dolls respite care was all free via the M.O.D. we paid for all of STANS respite care as his war pension % was to low...dont get me wrong we are not poor as such , i have now 2 good private pensions and the carers allowance , the old doll has a good war disabled pension and a war widows pension , a small tiny reduced state pension due to overlaping benefits ,,
my main argument is every single prime minister remids us every now and again of the covenant they have with the military ... they state no veteran past or present or family member who cares for a veteran shall suffer financial hardsip due to their service for King / Queen and country ... and i cant even get the 4 weeks per year free respite care from the M.O.D for the old doll unless i`m ill or hospitalised ..every single thing we have asked for comes at a cost.....

i look up to no one and i dont look down on anyone ... i know my place .....

i dont resent or begrudge any other carers who have the good luck to have decent care provided by whoever , nor do i sneer at other carers , i have never abused any other carer on this site, my whole argument is we as carers should be paid for what we do ,, we should all receive the same level of support from the state / council .. those carers who care full time should be rewarded not just for the work they do but for the money they save the state ... all means testing is wrong the poor/ rich should all be supported financially if they have accpeted their responsibilities and now care for a family member ,,, why should the rich/poor pay for the care that the state either cant or wont provide ...
What some politician said aens ago is of no relevance. My husband and more recently my son are both war veterans as was my father who was wounded at Normandy. We don't expect special treament- we are seafarers - survivors, never victims.
this is my last post re this issue ,,, DAVID CAMERON was the last Prime mimister to reafirm the military covenant ,,, just a few weeks ago ... i dont want to be part of a forum with someone like you who is so abusive ......
While there has been a robust exchange of views, George, I don't believe there has been any abuse. If you feel there has, you can always use the report option on any post (the ! at the top right of each post).
Like you, George, I have also cared for a WW2 veteran who was injured as a prisoner of war (of the Japanese, who were even more brutal ) ; and as his executor I am very well able to itemise the extra help and support he received from the government. It must fall well into six figures as a minimum over a decade or more, and includes generous provisions such as free 24 hr nursing home respite care for four weeks a year, a wholly unexpected five figure one-off FEPOW payment, 100% war pensioners disability benefit and so much more ... my Father in Law was receiving significantly more in government benefits than I was earning as a senior manager in the NHS with 20 years experience in the public sector and with postgraduate management qualifications. I don't think either of us exactly needs to put out the begging bowl, so lets have a little less misery, and a bit more realisation of the fact that we are very privileged compared with many carers of people who have not received War Pensions, despite the fact that their needs are exactly the same. I have the benefit of having travelled in the Third World, where former soldiers are reduced to begging in the streets: we are not that badly off, really, are we?
The Military Covenant was reconfirmed to honour the veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan who most certainly did not return to a hero's welcome- many, including my own son, returning to indifference and abuse. Today's young veterans simply expect to be treated with a modicum of respect and to have their problems recognised and get the support they need to go on and lead productive lives. I recently watched a programme where a young disabled soldier discussed with his support worker what services he could get with the compensation and benefits he had been given. I was shocked at the low level of compensation but there was no moaning from the lad- he just wanted to get on with his life. As Scally has said, many elderly veterans get quite a good deal- the benefits are given so they may buy services to give them a better life.
this is my very last post .. i cant leave without making a few comments ..
first of all todays disabled veterans or widows can and do receive a cash lump sum payment which they deserve , it can be over £200-000 .. plus of course the war disabled / war widows pensions..
Dont you ever read the posts i have placed re the respite care for disabled veterans ??? we are entitled to 4 weeks per year , however the respite care can only be taken if the "FULL TIME CARER " thats me by the way is either ill or hospitalised , therefore we cant get respite care ..
the whole point of the war disabled pension is not to pay for care as such , some of it is for personal care , the constant care allowance / mobility supplement , the bulk of the war pension is to support the pensioner during their lifetime, as many will be unable to secure good full time employment, many disabled veterans work in low paid jobs and will have problems re occupational pensions ,if we use respite care we have to pay, the cost, well you tell me up to £1-000 per week .. the £10-000 for the F.E.P.O.W. was a payment from the U.K. government paid by T.BLAIR who was pushed into doing this by the Australian government who had decided to pay their own Japanese P.O.W`s 20-000 A$ .. by the way the Australian government had a Royal commission which concluded that the European ex P.O.W`s suffered just the same hardship`s as the Japanese P.O.W`s and for some European ex P.O.W`s for 2 years longer , the Australian`s have now also paid the european ex P.O.W`S the 20-000 A$ , they are also paying the nuclear bomb test vistims the same amount ...the U.K. government will pay NOTHING to their own European ex P.O.W`S or widows ...
the war disabled pension / war widows pension is NOT a benefit ...
i cant believe that you are in favour of means testing the disabled and their carers , if you dont need the begging bowl , no financial support ,just stop moaning and complaining and get on with your life..if thats your view what are we as carers campaigning for..i cant understand it when you say if the person we care for is rich, or has a good pension, be it war related or private the CARER should not get extra help from the state, and should be subsidised by the caree .... DAVID CAMERON claimed direct payments/ individual budgets for the care of his son , since 1997 i have got by on under £8-000 per year and that includes the carers allowance ,,, no benefit help at all,,, carers need and deserve a wage to reward them for the work we do .....it is not the duty of our disabled relatives old or young to pay their carers for the work we do , dont we deserve a share of the cash we save the N.H.S...

could you please put a cost on the level of income allowed before we need to put out the begging bowl ..

oh by the way i`m still waiting for you to inform me of the many opportunities offered to me that i refused to accept .
Fine George, but you benefit from an anomoly in the benefits system, i.e. you are able to draw substantial occupational pensions and still claim an additional £2,888.60 in Carers Allowance, the earnings rule denies working carers CA above an income of £5,200 and those on overlapping benefits, including the State Retirement Pension, which can be paid below the £100 pw earnings limit, have no entitlement to CA whatsoever. It could be argued that this is not fair.

You also complain about having to pay for care, the reason why you are not entitled to free care is either because your mother does not meet the local eligibility criteria or because you have income and/or capital which takes you out of free care entitlement, whichever it is it could be argued that you are in a better situation than many carers.

You say that care is rubbish, this is not the case, there is poor care and there is good care; you say that respite care costs around £1,000 upwards pw, this too is not the case. You can find perfectly good or even excellent care, including respite care for around half the cost which you quote, in the area where you live.

So you benefit from an anomoly in the benefits system which leaves you with a reasonable personal income, an income above that which many families have to live on and substantially above the income which many disabled people and their carers have to live on; your mother's income is subantially above that of many similarly frail or disabled pensioners because she is entitled to war-related benefits; there are perfectly adequate and more than adequate services where you live at reasonable cost; you and your mother are assessed as being able to afford to pay for these services yourselves and based on what you have said about your incomes this would not seem an unfair assessment. What exactly is the problem?
What some politician said aens ago is of no relevance.
Aens ago, yesterday or an hour ago, same applies. It seems that what politicians say rarely mean what we think it means, if you know what I mean? Image
112 posts