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Carer for my Dad - Carers UK Forum

Carer for my Dad

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Hi

I was wondering if anyone can help; my dad has Dementia and he is also diabetic, in addition he has a large hernia. I am looking for a carer that can come to the house 9-5 and help with looking after him. He lives on his own and is 88, my sister lives next door and can take over after 5 when she gets back from work.

We have carers that come 4 times a day but I am not happy with them, if anyone can advise where we can get a male carer to come 9-5 that would be very helpful. He lives in West London

Many THanks
The key factor will be whether your dad is self-funding his care (if he has assets/savings over £23,500) (and his care is deemed to be 'social care' rather than 'medical care' - the diabetes might indicate the latter, but the dementia is always regarded as 'social care', at least until it gets very near the end).

If he is self-funding the situation is a lot 'easier' as in he can just hire whom he likes from a private agency. If you don't like the carers who are coming in now, try a different agency that is more geared to either 'live in' carers or 'overnight' carers or 'respite carers'. (eg, my friend gets a private agency to send along 'respite carers' who simply live in her house while she is on holiday and look after her dad, who lives with her, in her place. The cost is about £120/30 a day - not cheap, but she wouldn't get a holiday otherwise. It's about equivalent to a self-funded place in a care home. That price is for an expensive, affluent dormitory town in the Home Counties. London itself might be more expensive?)

You might be able to hire a carer directly, but you will need to be cautious about things like 'are you their employer' and if so, then you get all the stuff like NI, maternity leave, etc etc to cope with. Also, if you hire from an agency things like insurance are taken care of. HIring directly means you should take out some kind of public liability insurance both in case the carer injures themselves in your dad's house, or they injure your dad (by accident) or eg set fire to the house, etc etc etc.

Others here have gone down this route,but it's not that frequent.

If he is not self-funding you may have a struggle with SS to get that amount of care approved....

It's an endless problem, isn't it - which is why so many of us end up being the carer ourselves (sigh.) Or opting for residential care which is what's happened with my 92 y.o MIL with dementia. Sad but no other option.
You could try asking your local Social Services for a list of vetted care workers that you can employ directly, or try googling "personal assistant carers" and your area - there a number of companies countrywide that provide this type of service (but I suspect that they will be quite expensive - certainly in excess of £100+ per day).

If employing directly then you will need to look into things like National Insurance, income tax, pension plans etc. You may find these links helpful
https://www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/e ... -your-care
https://www.nidirect.gov.uk/articles/em ... -assistant
It sounds like dad has very high health needs. Look at Google for the "NHS Continuing Healthcare Checklist" - IF dad qualifies all his health and care needs are free.
Firstly, thanks to all of you who took the trouble to reply, it is very much appreciated!

My dad is definitely self-funding as his assets do not entitle him to free care; we are prepared to pay for a male carer to come to the house 9-5 to help him. I will take your advice and google to see if there is anyone in our area who can help (preferably an agency)

Thanks again!
The good thing about being self-funding is that at least it puts you in the position of a 'customer' who can maybe 'shop around' rather than as a humble 'grateful recipient' of the 'generosity' (!) of the council.....

Good luck with finding someone suitable. It's always such a worry. If only we could 'clone ourselves' and then we could have one self that gets on with our own life, and one that devotes themselves to our ageing, infirm parents...... an impossible hope alas.
ps - just to say, if you have a daily carer for your dad, you will probably have to set aside a room in his house/flat to keep all the 'personal stuff' from passports and cash to anything that you dont'. want 'on public view' to the carer.
jenny lucas wrote:ps - just to say, if you have a daily carer for your dad, you will probably have to set aside a room in his house/flat to keep all the 'personal stuff' from passports and cash to anything that you dont'. want 'on public view' to the carer.
Many thanks Jenny, your advice has been invaluable, thanks for sharing. it's getting really difficult for my sister now as my dad screams and shouts at night and won't sleep!
Sadly, when dementia gets advanced - and your poor dad does sound that bad now alas - it's simply impossible for one single person to care 24x7.

May I ask if your dad is on any medication at all (ie, not for the diabetes). I ask because when my MIL had to move into residential care, she was prescribed a low dose of a tranquilliser to 'calm' her (she was both anxious and agitated, and kept trying to leave - a safeguarding issue alas). It's not unusual to prescribe this for agitated dementia patients, and it might help your dad have better nights (which would mean easier nights for your sister)

Wishing you as well as possible in a situation that has no upside - dementia is a cruel and difficult disease, taking a toll not just on the patient, but on their family as well. The stress is dreadful.

Kindest regards, Jenny
jenny lucas wrote:Sadly, when dementia gets advanced - and your poor dad does sound that bad now alas - it's simply impossible for one single person to care 24x7.

May I ask if your dad is on any medication at all (ie, not for the diabetes). I ask because when my MIL had to move into residential care, she was prescribed a low dose of a tranquilliser to 'calm' her (she was both anxious and agitated, and kept trying to leave - a safeguarding issue alas). It's not unusual to prescribe this for agitated dementia patients, and it might help your dad have better nights (which would mean easier nights for your sister)

Wishing you as well as possible in a situation that has no upside - dementia is a cruel and difficult disease, taking a toll not just on the patient, but on their family as well. The stress is dreadful.

Kindest regards, Jenny
Hi Jenny, yes he is on medication for blood pressure and cholesterol, and also blood thinning and water reduction. I asked about a sedative but GP advised against it.