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Carers: what is a day in your life really like?‬ Guardian - Carers UK Forum

Carers: what is a day in your life really like?‬ Guardian

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
If you’re a carer, you might be familiar with the statistics: that there are 6.5 million unpaid carers in the UK and that informal caring saves the UK economy £119bn a year. Or you might have only recently realised you’re a carer; looking after a family member, partner or friend can be so natural that it seems odd that it has a name.‬

‪Whatever your situation – whether you live with the person needing care, or help support them while they live independently – it can be a drain on emotional and financial resources. There are also huge positives to being a carer: the feeling of doing something completely worthwhile, a new closeness to the person you care for. Whatever your day-to-day life is like, we want to hear from you.‬
see in full here
http://www.theguardian.com/social-care- ... xperiences

Hi Rosemary,

I would suggest that we just forward these two threads from this site. Two of the best we have had for a long time. If anyone ever wants to know how it really is being carer....

http://www.carersuk.org/forum?view=topi ... mitstart=0

http://www.carersuk.org/forum?view=topi ... 1&id=41318
To be honest, mostly my days are great, I've have a few not so great days of late, but have to say, on the whole the rest are usually grate.

I spend all day every day with the one I love most, what's not to like?

I often feel a bit of a fraud calling my self a Carer, when I hear about the really difficult times, some of my 'Forum Mates', have to deal with day in day out.

I guess that while a can, look after my Jan, I will and we will have to deal with what ever is going to happen later as time moves on, especially now there's a ? over my own health.
Sprinter, to pass on threads like this we would need to get permission from every member who posted on the threads mentioned.
I think perception very much depends on age of carer, support they get and age. I only say that as loss of savings over time caring, and vastly smaller pension that will result, is hard. Future? Education-sometimes think why did I bother. Of course not every day is negative but future uncertain through it. I certainly don't want to get old!!! Also depends on condition. With eg dementia, there is only one way-downhill. Please DO NOT publish.
I think I would have to ask a series of questions that bug me every day. If we're saving the nation £119bn per year, why does the nation think it's ok to treat us so abysmally? Why do I have to waste a significant amount of my time fighting to get the help myself and my caree need? Why do DWP employees treat me like scum and tell me, when I complain, that I deserve to be treated this way because I'm on benefits? By my reckoning, I'm saving the nation somewhere in the region of £250,000 a year, personally, but I am grudgingly given only £61 a week, why is that fair? Why does my caree have to live in fear of our government and the world outside our door? And finally, where's the respect for what we do?
I'm fine with being a carer: I love the close relationship I have with my son, even when it gets prickly, because I have always had a dream and a reasonable , flexible plan to help him towards being an independent and successful adult, and so far, for the last 19 years, he has never let me down - in fact, he has always exceeded reasonable expectation and come out a winner. Now please excuse me, he has college in the morning and sadly I still need to remind him that if he doesn't get enough sleep tonight, we are not going to have a nice time come 7:30 am. :dry:
Well my day starts at 6.15am every morning and does not finish until well after midnight every night unless son is out clubbing with his pals when it can be 4.00am before hubby and I get to our bed! I and my husband are on constant call throughout the day as my son can physically do next to nothing for himself. We are also on alert through the night in case his ventilator alarm goes off. That is each and every day - no time off for being sick and no holidays and its been like that for 23 years and will only get worse as time goes on. But we love him and he loves us. There is no alternative as there is no other suitable care available that will not put his life at risk so we will do as we have always done and get on with it.

I am new to being a full time carer having only recently taken the plunge and given up work to look after my husband who has had 2 strokes, a heart attack, and rheumatoid arthritis. I am only 47 and previously loved my job as a community nirse. My husband was very fit and healthy until his stroke hit like a bolt from the blue.
I spend my days cleaning, cooking, sorting medical appointments, medication and prescriptions. My husband usually sleeps until gone midday so try to be quiet around the house until then. Wake him with breakfast, medication and water at about midday. Then assess how well he is that day, and major problems I need to contact the gp about. (he has problems with dizzy spells affecting mobility, generalised pain, and sometimes brain splitting headaches) on a good day I can help him to get dressed and then get him into the garden where he can sit in the summerhouse with his book and iPad. I make drinks and try to engage in conversation. My husband has become v isolated most company makes him feel Ill with headaches and periods of confusion.
On a bad day I will settle him onto the sofa with cushions around him to try and make him feel comfortable. He then watches tv (we have turned sky back on despite our financial problems as it one thing he can enjoy even on his worst days) I then make phone calls usually to try and organise financial issues, struggling with overwhelming debt, or to arrange or cancel physio or counselling appointments depending on how he is that day.
I rely on my mobile phone and social media to keep in contact with friends and the outside world. I provide snacks and drinks as required during the day then make an evening meal for about 6pm. Sometimes I join hubby to watch the quizzes on TV with him as something we can do together. I then do more chores, walk dog (hubby has personal alarm for when I leave him) and hubby goes to bed at about 10pm.
We recently considered going away for a week but I decided that I would rather continue this routine in my own house rather than transferring it to a caravan or chalet somewhere.
Many days are spent struggling to get my husband up and ready to go out to appointments, last week we had 3 in a week. Worrying about having enough petrol to get to the appointments, parking close enough for hubby to get into the hospital, and the general distress of watching him trying to put a brave face on his pain and fatigue.
I have worked with many people and their carers in my career, but nothing had prepared me for the sense of helplessness, isolation, worry about everything (health, money, how to mend a broken lawn mower etc etc) but having said that I am v grateful to still have my husband, and for the people who push through the barriers to reach out to us, and for forums like this one.
My answer's very simple. When I'm with MIL I live the life of a 90 year old, not a 60 year old. I live her life, not mine. My life simply ..... disappears.

(And that's a healthy, sane, pleasant 90 year old.......and yet my life still disappears.....)

(Profound and sincere apologies to all here who deal with far, far, FAR more complicated and distressing situations - I simply wanted to make the point that any kind of caring, however 'easy' inevitably implies a loss of 'normal life' for the carer)(and usually the careee too of course)