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Carering and Working - Carers UK Forum

Carering and Working

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
i have thought about this a few times.........

i have been looking after my mum since i left school/collage at thr age of 16/17 paid and unpaid. it took us a while to get the dwp to notice mum has a disability and needs help. but i have never really worked and i feel soooooooooo gulity. everytime i have looked for work mum needs me to care for her or something has gone wrong and she has been in hospital. the fact i have not really worked i feel sooo ashamed. i would like to work but by the time i have sorted mum out there is not enough time for anything and with me being depressed well you know........... i feel like one of those benefit lay abouts that you read in the paper. i did not do so well with gcses and have no other qualifications i just feel soooo bad and have nothing else apart from caring for my mum. what am i going to do when mum is not here what will i do as that is all i know? i cant leave mum for long at all as she has choking fits and personal care plus drinks. i have had a little job but that was 3 days trial

should i feel gulity about not being able to work since school?
Sianee, you have been working...

... you are your Mum's CARER. Don't think for one second you haven't been working Sweetheart because you have.... very, very hard... and for love.

Do you get the chance to have any time to yourself at all? How about volunteering somewhere, say, Cancer Research charity shop, if you want to get to experience the workplace?

i get about an hour or two depending on my mum and ow she feels. but can not really leave her alone i have to near because she has these choking fits(we dont know why)and she cant breath and i mean she goes as red as anything when having one plus i have to get her drinks or she has to be watched while using the kettle has she has drop a pan but luckily the water was not hot + i am scared to leave my mum alone for too long as i would nver forgive myself if anything happend and i was not there as she also has balance problems and can over balance and fall.

also she needs help with personal care so it is quite hard. as i say in the post i have been saying this for long time that i do feel like a benefit bum and feel guilty about this as i can not go out and earn an honnest wage. i think some of it is,we dont get paid like we are working,that we are doing jobs and get paid nothing for it even though we save government billions by doing this.

i just feel guilty as people see me,us,you and other carers and carees as benefit bums and whatever else they call us.
you have a job,your a carer.ill-informed idiotic opinions should not bother you.Focus upon your life,your well being,YOU.Human nature being as it is,people will form whatever opinion they want to,and will get it wrong.thats life.So,dont let these things trouble you.Be strong in what your doing.IT IS A JOB.
Sianie, can you please stop this IMHO nonsense?

For one thing, there are plenty of so-called "honest jobs" where the person doing them spends all day making other people miserable or worse off (and they know it) - bailiffs, traffic wardens etc.

For another thing, seeing as you were a carer even as a child, you've probably done more work already in your life than most people who do a paid 9 to 5 job.

At the moment you're not employed, but at least you can truthfully say that your work is to make somebody's day (and night) better. Image Your honest toil (even if the government doesn't see it that way) makes the world a better place than it otherwise would be. Image

As for what you read in the papers, if it gets you down, don't read them. Skip straight to the cartoons & puzzles if you must, and maybe the job ads, but don't look at the poison on the other pages etc. This doesn't mean yo have to do without news - that can be got from the telly & radio.
i know but i also feel what will i do when mums not here,what do i do then and some people may see i have been a "lay about" with no qulifications who would want to employ me.
No you should not feel quilty about not having had paid employment and no you are not a scrounger and should anyone have the temerity to tell you that you are, then tell them that you get Carers Allowance and to get it you have to prove that you 'work' caring for more hours a week than they get paid for!

Have you tried looking at the Open University? You can study at home and in your own time.
no i have not looked but i will do. are they dear in price do you know? i have not always got carers even though there was proof that my mum needed care. it was in the last two years the dwp/dla relised what mum needs but i am soon facing having to prove it again the care i do for her. thanks for the information Image
does anyone know anywhere online i can do a course from home i think they call them e courses. i did have a look on open uni but found they quick dear and i looked at learn direct but the nearest course to me for health and soical care is liverpool. there online courses were not much good too me. Image
If you are on benefits, a lot of the time the OU won't charge you a single penny.