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Thick Skin required urgently ............ - Carers UK Forum

Thick Skin required urgently ............

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Hello all - had some really good advice from you all in the past so here goes-
My mother is now almost one year post brain haemorrhage, she is 74 and prior to this event she was very independent( and a little difficult at times!). Regulars on here will have heard me say she was in hospital for 7 months - 150 mile round trip - we were all stressed out with situation and each other. She came home in Feb 13 and now has carers 3 times a day. She has some cognitive issues and is quite physically disabled. I pop in and out as does my sister and daughter. It's going ok but I am too sensitive and need to develop a thick skin. Example: since the BH she wants to go out shopping a lot and gets depressed if she is stuck in the house. I have lots of health problems and have recently been medically retired so I have to pace myself but she doesn't understand this. Last week I took her to town again where she insists on buying clothes she will never wear but I realise this is her choice. On this day I had found out my father I law is terminally ill and that my daughter and partner are to separate. I felt unwell and worn out but paint on the obligatory smile for my mother. Driving back she said I hadn't given her change to a purchase she had made and it wasnt the first time I had done this. I nearly lost it. The reason she didnt have change was the purchase came to more than she had given me ( we are talking pence). I know she can't help it as since the BH she gets very confused with money. But I felt so hurt - my husband came home to a blubbering wreck whilst coming to terms his dad will not be with us mu h longer ( totally unexpected no symptoms given months to live)
The other family members who help me seem capable of switching off to her complaints. She doesn't like the food I buy or the carers that tend to her. Her bills are high because I leave lights on and use her phone ( if I do use the phone they are to arrange her appointments etc) She cashes money and gives it away yet she quibbles With me over a few pence!!! She has no idea how this has taken over MY life. It's as if I am not important. But that is nothing new - she was the most undemonstrative mother ever!
Sorry this is a rant. I just feel fed up - bad day. Thanks for listening - it's great to know imnot alone. I just don't feel very good at this - I always thought I was a caring person but now I'm not sure as I can't say I get anything out of this only stress.
......... When you find out where to get the new skin could you post me a link please.............I can relate to your posting 100% not much help to you I know cos' if I had the answer I'd willingly share it but sometimes just the problem shared is the problem halved Worrywart hugs to you xxxxxxxxxxxx
(((((((((((((((((((((Worrywart))))))))))))))))))))))))
No tips on how to grow a thick skin, but maybe yours was just a little thinner than usual with everything else on top. Image Image