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can i have some advice -Carers UK Forum

can i have some advice

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Hi my manfriends mum has had some fall and a nasty fall on tuesday,last week and lost the top of her fingers so she went in to hospital to have them fixed, bearing in mind she can't walk with out a frame, now i had a frantic phone call this morning say she fell 3 time yesterday and that her legs can't hold her, and she wet the bed my manfriend manged to get her back to bed and i suppose change the sheets, i told him to call a ambulance, they wouldn't come out but said they would call a doctor, well he came out saw her and said to call his doctor in the morning, well i don't think thats right, i can't do anything as i'm not family, i would have had something done today if it was my mother, can you help me to suggest anything to help him, being a carer is not for him but he is trying his best, Image i feel sorry for him as i can't help him. Image sorry there not to many full stops.
Call 999. Tell your friend to let them know he needs urgent assistance to get his mother to A and E.
I don't know how old she is,or what her needs are normally. Does one side of her mouth droop,since her fall?
It may have been a stroke,(the falls and incontinence suggest that something is badly wrong),and she needs to be seen asap in hospital.
Tell him not to take no for an answer from the ambulance.It is an emergency.
she is 90 years old, when the doctor came out he or she said she hadn't a stroke but i'm the same as you there is something not right, i did tell him if she fall again to call an ambulance to help him get her up, but he seems frighten to ask them, he always has to ask his sisters and brother if he should do anything, (after he spoken to me and asked me first), and his Mum is very difficult, saying he doesn't care and she doesn't want to go to hospital, Image
The ambulance service is used to being called out and checking someone over and picking them up after a fall, I agree that this probably the best way to ensure that his mother is conveyed to hospital if needed and it does sound as though she needs to be but this is dependent on her having another fall which obviously is to be avoided. The alternative is to phone 999 again and ask to speak to a supervisor or a manager, the call-handlers providing the triage system work to a script and often do not have any medical knowledge, their superiors usually have nursing or other medical qualifications, I have done this successfully in the past.
B***** doctors she died this morning at home, if i can i'm going to blow them up, don't think its good enough, you don't call an ambulance just for the fun of it. Image
Oh Helen! I'm so sorry.
ambulance service too Helen.

I am so sorry your friend's Mum did not get the help she needed.Just to let you know, because the death is sudden, the Coroner will be informed and they may order a postmortem,to find out the cause of her death.That may be distressing and your manfriend may need some support to get through that.

I am so, so sorry, Helen, and I feel so angry for you, your friend and for your friend's mother and family, not least because it seems that these delays in getting elderly people into hospital are becoming more commonplace yet nothing changes, but your friend's mother died at home where she said that she wanted to be and I hope the fact that her wish was fulfilled will be some comfort to you all.
thank you all for your support, i think i'm going to say something to the doctors and ambulance. Image and yes he will need a lot of support. Image i may suggest he gets a kitten. i know thats random but he likes cats and he lost his two years ago, i had to take her to her vets to have her put down for him.