[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 585: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 641: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
Call yourself a carer? - Page 10 - Carers UK Forum

Call yourself a carer?

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
149 posts
You make your own fortune: it stems from having a positive mental attitude, a clear vision, and the determination to achieve your goals.
I accept that some people dont have that drive, and also that we dont know how to create it. It's one of life's deeper mysteries. But it's important to carers to know that being a carer can be life enhancing and that it can open all kinds of doors. And that just because you are a carer doesnt stop you achieving your life aspirations: lots of carers are at the forefront of society; in sport, politics, business; well everywhere you look. To say this isn't to blame carers who have given up temporarily for practical reasons, but hopefully it might help some to realise that you can still achieve your dreams and vision whilst being a carer.
I dont think it set David Cameron back much, and whilst I don't like him much, I also respect the fact that he stayed true to his purpose.
Now please excuse me, whilst I plan my next overseas adventure. I want to take my son to Africa - the real Africa, not the tourist version of it. Before some a$$hole turns it into Disneyland Image
We do not all share the same aspirations, if we did we would all be aiming for the same goals and outcomes and some would be disappointed, perhaps those of us who have learned to modify our aspirations to meet our changing circumstances are the most content, my current aspiration is to get my husband to go bed so that I can get some sleep Image Image .
Nighty night then!
as long as we think it terms of "going out" to work, or "being employed", we'll continue to feel like victims who are being denied opportunities.
Sorry Parsifal if you thought I was saying that you're a victim if you're "not in a position to earn and care". I was actually replying to an earlier post that mentioned not being able to "go out to work" to earn extra money.

Of course, I do believe everyone CAN be in a position to do so, but you're right, not everyone wants to. And that's cool. For me, it's not about the money, it's about feeling I have more control and thereby more choices in my life.

Image
as long as we think it terms of "going out" to work, or "being employed", we'll continue to feel like victims who are being denied opportunities.
Sorry Parsifal if you thought I was saying that you're a victim if you're "not in a position to earn and care". I was actually replying to an earlier post that mentioned not being able to "go out to work" to earn extra money.

Of course, I do believe everyone CAN be in a position to do so, but you're right, not everyone wants to. And that's cool. For me, it's not about the money, it's about feeling I have more control and thereby more choices in my life.

Image
Why do you believe everyone "can" be in a position to do so?
You are not privvy to everyone's situation, too many people on both sides of this discussion make judgements based on their own specific situation and have an attitude of if I can/can't then the same applies to everyone else.
It is seldom the case that carers are unambitious or not savvy enough to earn a few pounds here and there, many have had successful careers prior to their caring role, many do not have a network of supportive relatives, there could be a whole host of reasons why people are at home or out at work and caring.
Vicky
Vicky, I think you may have misunderstood my post. My point was that IF a carer wants to earn extra money, there are ways to do so - I was hardly suggesting that every carer can go out to work to earn money!

I'm a full-time carer to an 87 year old wheelchair Mum who needs my attention regularly throughout the day. I DON'T have a network of support - in fact, I don't have ANY. I've been her full-time carer for over 20 years and before that, i DID have a successful career.

My point was simply that IF a carer wants or needs to earn extra money and is not able to go out to work, there are many ways to do so. It takes imagination, determination and self-discpline - all qualities I would think every carer would have just to BE a carer.

And if a carer doesn't have the need or the desire to do so, that's fine too.

See, we're both on the same side, ya know! Image
Absolutely agree with you Vicky, you just have to read this and the other carers message boards to appreciate how very different individual carers and the people they care for are and the very different circumstances in which carers find themselves, to assume that one's particular situation represents all is to be blind to the circumstances, needs and aspirations of others.
I'm with Vicky and Annie on this one.

Excalibur said:
I dont think it set David Cameron back much,
And having a healthy wife and being a millionaire didnt make a difference eh?

This combining work with care is a recurring theme on this forum, it's deja vu all over again lol. What we don't seem to discuss much is the need for 'me' time.

I was brought up with the protestant work ethic. So despite having a heavy caring role i have for most of the 20 years of being a 24/7 carer combined caring with a part time job or voluntary work. I have managed this by taking my caree with me or by doing this extra work at home at the same time as caring. What i havent done over the last 20 years is spend much time doing things for me.

When my sister was diagnosed with a serious illness last year it brought home to me how short life is. At the time my caring role became almost impossibly heavy but i vowed to myself that if it became easier i would take some time for me.

Fortunately my caring role has eased a bit in the last six months and I now have a whole 15 hours a week to myself, more than i have had for 20 years, and i am using that time to do something i want to do..and it isnt work...hurrah! And you know what i reckon it's one of the best decisions i have ever made and i think, no i know, that I deserve that time for me.


So to all those heavy end carers out there who know that caring is work, I would say forget paid employment or voluntary work, presuming you have the time to consider it, which isnt always the case and unless of course that's what you want to do, (long sentence sorry!) and grab any free time you can for you. I wish i had done so years ago instead of feeling guilty and trying to be super woman.


At the end of the day, life is short.

PS At times in my life doing anything other than care was not an option..i didn't even have the time to sit at a computer let alone post on here.

PPS..hedonism rules! well for 15 hours a week it does ..who knows for how long.

PPS i don't think we make our own fortune..we have room for manoeuvre sometimes that's all.
Good for you Belle, enjoy.
Vicky
thanks for sharing, Belle.
149 posts