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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 11:19 pm
Can someone tell me my rights for taking a holiday with my hubby who I care for.
I have been looking after him since 2007 without a break 24/7.
I have been trying all day to get funding for a holiday together but all anyone says is that I can have one ( I MIGHT qualify for a grant from Princess Royal Trust for Carers)
but hubby would have to go into respite.
We do not want that. Just a holiday without me being tired and stressed with everyday living stuff would be nice. Quality time together.
I always thought carers had a legal right to breaks.
Thanks for reading
Take care all
Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 7:15 am
I feel your frustration.
I have recently been put in contact with my local carers group, the lady was very nice, explaning that there are breaks available for me, days out, overnight stays etc, but I tried to explain that firstly, I can't and don't want to leave Hubs, especially overnight, and secondly, the one thing I would really like would be able to have a break as a family.
It is very nice that the focus is on the carer, but surely a break for us all would do us good?
In their minds though, the carer will only get a proper break if away from caree, which I agree with to some extent, but when you are close knit, like us, just getting away from the confines of the house together is enough.
She did then tell me that grants of up to £300 are available, if I could cost a day out for us all they may help with a contribution.
I hope some one will be along soon to help you out more, this looking after the Carer stuff is all very new to me.
Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 8:23 am
Here in bedfordshire we have carers in bedfordshire..http://www.carersinbeds.co.uk/.
. it might be worth seeing if there is a local group to you.. i did this last year and was awarded a carers grant of £200 for days out which i did..
Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 10:25 am
It's as Sturdygirl says - the breaks are there for Carers but not necessarily for Carer and Caree together !
It occurs to me that you might be able to use the funding for yourself and pay the difference for your OH to accompany you, but then you would come up against the problem of finding somewhere that would be suitable for both of you. A 'normal' hotel wouldn't necessarily have suitable facilities.
I do know that if you have an Armed Forces connection there are places that offer respite breaks for both of you together, but don't know how you'd go about finding the funding. I remember a while back Audrey arranged such a break with her husband at a place in Sussex.
Try googling 'holidays for disabled' and see if anything suitable comes up and then go back to SS and/or PRTC and see what their reaction is.
Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 12:21 pm
I have today received the form to complete for a PRTC carers break grant. I had an in depth conversation with one of the girls in the office and she explained that as long as I could prove that whilst away my hands on caring role would be vastly deminished there was no harm in OH and I going away together.
I have friends living nearby on all the overnight stops and they are all travelodge disabled rooms we have booked with 24/7 alarmcall. The plan is for me to have a couple of days with my girlie friends whilst the menfolk entertain my hubby. The overnight care doesn`t change, but when OH was in hospital I never slept more than 2 hours at a time as I always woke to turn him, even though he was miles away!
Can only give it a try, and travelling by car it makes no difference if I am alone or hubby comes too. Hope something comes of it.
Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 12:35 pm
Should have said my dear old Dad isn`t being abandoned when we tootle off........my friend Ruth is on holidays and will make sure he is OK and do the chores for him that I would do, and be on call for the alarm. I can include a payment to Ruth for Dad`s care as part of the expenses for the carers break fund application.
Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 4:30 pm
How can they expect us to not care? We have been stuck in this routine for so long that caring is just a way of life, just like breathing.
I've always found that my caring role tends to ramp up rather than down while on vacation because we have an extra 2 disabled people with us plus Dave's health heads downhill a little. But, despite these extra demands on me, I'm still able to enjoy my vacation and come home feeling rejuvenated and ready to care another day.
To be expected to take a vacation away from my carees would never happen because my stress levels would never go down.
Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 5:15 pm
I seem to remember that the government scheme "Every child matters" was aimed at seeing children as children first, then some might be disabled. It seems that this policy hasn't been continued into adulthood. If carers want a holiday on their own without their caree, that's fine. If they want one with the caree, so they can both have a change of scenery and new experiences together, that's fine too. Who is to tell us what we want?
Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 8:43 pm
If you're looking for self-catering, just go onto a self-catering cottage holiday website. There are loads with wheelchair access or flat access and bedrooms on the ground floor, all over the country. That's what we used to do in the past and are trying to do again, cos we've been a few years without holidays and I'm determined that we're having one this year.
Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 10:12 pm
Daylily are you looking for somewhere like Audrey and her hubby went to, where care is provided for OH and you can both stay there or somewhere where you are still doing all the caring but a change of scene?