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Behavioural issues...the "perfect" storm - Page 3 - Carers UK Forum

Behavioural issues...the "perfect" storm

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Hi Lois
12 weeks minimum treatment of her physical issues should give you plenty of time to see what her underlying mental state is. I know you mention grumbles etc but i am concerned that there may be other issues as evidenced by her not pressing her call button etc.
At least now you have time to take a few deep breaths

Xx
MrsA
Be sure to ring the Carers UK helpline for information about charges and benefits, in relation to residential care, so you don't miss out. There are a variety of options.
Oh it just gets better and better.

Sis in law turned up today for a visit and the ward has five cases of norovirus developed today. Advice was to go home. She decided to risk it as she's immune to it now (been nursing elderly for decades and no longer catches anything!) but we've all been told to stay away till they give the all clear. SIL has now sprayed herself down in the shower with disinfectant, and is currently blasting all her clothes with the same stuff before washing them....

Spiffing. Just ***%ing spiffing. :evil:

you couldn't make it up
My Mum died on Saturday.

She'd been refusing fluids or food, and even an IV intervention wasn't enough to stop an "acute kidney injury". She spent a week in delirium and pain, whimpering, screaming and crying alternately whilst her body was taken over by sepsis, and finally died at 2.40am on Saturday.

I wouldn't have done that to a dog, but I just had to sit beside her whilst her body took it's own time to die.
Oh dear Lois. My sincere condolences. Just keep telling yourself she is pain free and peaceful now . Try to remember all the good times and be gentle with yourself. It will have been draining for you.
Xx MrsA
Lois
I'm so very sorry to read that your mum died.
You try to take care of yourself and keep in touch with us
((((HUGS))))
I'm finished.

I've refused to take on the executor role Mum had specified in her will, and have instead handed it to my younger sister. She's a vat officer and not phased by the official stuff, so is perfectly okay with doing it in my stead. Older sister has not taken that so well, as she's executor too and was, in my opinion, counting on me letting her do whatever she wants. Younger sis is a very different prospect and is already curtailing older sister's domineering tendencies.

Me, I'm just watching from the sidelines and letting them get on with it. I'm too tired to do anything else...
Lois_1701 wrote:I'm finished.

I've refused to take on the executor role Mum had specified in her will, and have instead handed it to my younger sister. She's a vat officer and not phased by the official stuff, so is perfectly okay with doing it in my stead. Older sister has not taken that so well, as she's executor too and was, in my opinion, counting on me letting her do whatever she wants. Younger sis is a very different prospect and is already curtailing older sister's domineering tendencies.

Me, I'm just watching from the sidelines and letting them get on with it. I'm too tired to do anything else...
Excellent decision Lois, on all fronts :)
Hi Lois
My condolences on your loss and my heartfelt sympathy for the horrible time you have had to go through. There are many similarities to my own Mum's death last August.I didn't have to endure watching her in pain but I can understand how devastating that was for you.
Be aware that you will feel exhausted for quite a long time. After I had managed to get through the funeral and all the initial official executor duties (passing that on to your sister was a very good idea) I found myself hardly able to put one foot in front of the other and six months later I still tire very quickly and I'm still trying to sort through and dispose of all her 'stuff'.
Rest as much as you can and don't do anything you don't really feel like. Life won't get back to 'normal before mum' as quickly as you'd like but slowly you will 'come round'.
Kindest regards
Elaine
Hi Lois, I know mum got what she wanted, but what a terrible price to pay. I'm sure your sister will deal with the executors duties well, given her position and experience. This is the time for you to rest between now and the funeral, and then go away for a few days. Not for a holiday, but to get away from it all, rest, read, and listen to your body. After my husband died, I went away a few weeks later, as I felt totally overwhelmed at home by all the memories and the jobs that needed doing. Just think where you can drive within an hour or two, with no associations with the past, then look at the Late Rooms site. There are some really good deals at the moment.