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Another example - Carers UK Forum

Another example

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Found this in the Daily Mail

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/f ... ge_id=1879

Rosemary
x x x
hi rosemary
i have just read the artical.
it's so moving Image
i really hope i never feel that way towards my mum .
I wish I hadn't read this now - we have bad days but if I ever felt like that towards Mum it would just destroy me Image

Paula xx
I am not shocked by this story, people are so selfish today,it has turned into a me, me, me society and to hell with anyone else just so long as number 1 is ok.


Tonyxx Image
your so right tony
Hi
That's why I say I am not a carer I just do what any good husband would do and we did it for our parents with out thinking about.
We can all moan but what good does it do us as long as I can keep going I will always be there for Pat.
John.
I've read this and I feel nothing but sympathy for the daughter. I couldn't begin to understand anyone who felt they were in a position to judge her.

No doubt some of you out there are better people than I'll ever be, but frankly I find the daily round of dressing Mum, changing pads, taking her to the loo, emptying the commode, clearing up the mess when she has an accident, etc, etc, etc, absolutely soul destroying. I never had and never wanted children because I never wanted to be this responsible for another person - yet here I am with my life effectively stopped whilst I look after the person who used to be my mother.

I have nothing but admiration for anyone who tries to care. If it proves to be too much, I understand completely. If it leads to abuse, then although I don't condone it, I also understand that. But then I never claimed to be a saint or set myself up to judge anyone.
HI Johnrush

I agree with every word you say and anybody who doesn't can not have been at the real crap end of caring.

I have just had the week from hell because of cost cutting by the Mid Yorkshire Hospital Trust and after little or no sleep for a week and washing and cleaning up the mess all day and night I am just about ready to walk away, after first dumping caree in the plush offices of the Trust managers.
I have been carer for a great many years and never thought I would reach this point-so people who haven't yet should not judge others who have.
All the best Ken
Hi John & Kenm
I agree with every thing you both say we can only judge ourselves not other's each case is individual.
John.
Hi everyone,

One of the things that stands out is the different emotions felt by many carers.NONE of them right or wrong, just each is unique to the person coping on a day to day basis.
We see/hear every day just now about those who do cope but more importantly we see/hear from those who cant/or struggling to cope or who even does not want to try/is forced into the role.
Care centres/help lines/forums are all inundated with cries for help.Whether it be from a carer who has coped 20 + yrs ,or a person new to their caring role.We see it ourselves within our own families at times,how many here have posted in the past that the bulk/whole of caring is left to them whilst other family members carry on with their lives unaffected.

When I posted the link it was to hopefully draw attention to the fact that for one reason or another that some people cant cope.A few things Liz Jones said stood out for me.....

with the best will in the world, it is a difficult, soul-destroying job.

For some it can be soul destroying.The change to their lives so hard to adapt to.

"I don't think I can take it any more, Lizzie,"; she had told me. I had hugged her and reassured her,
I heard my own mam say those very words many a time.She did not think she could take anymore and would ask how many more mountains did she have to climb.I too hugged and reassured her and fortunately together we came through each time.

I knew I could cope no longer.
It took some courage for Liz to admit this to herself as well as others.

If someone like me (fit, still fairly young, well-off, works from home) can find being a full-time carer too much, then what chance, well, does anyone have?

I see this as a comparison to the more elderly carer who maybe has their own ill health,struggling financially and still having to carry on regardless.

John/Ken,although typed words on here dont convey everything we feel and in no way makes your daily life any easier, you both have my utmost admiration.To care under circumstances like you both have, must be emotionally and physically draining.I know you received help via your GP John and I am not sure what help if any you get Ken.If possible let your online friends support you as best they can.Private messages can always be used and sent to any member.That is a fact that will always remain in that no matter how much people differ in their outlook,we all pull together when one of us in need of support.

Lately in some of my postings I say we have a ticking time bomb.I still believe that, but more importantly I believe that time has almost ran out,and that an explosion will happen soon.Its inevitable.

Been a while since I typed War and Peace Image .

Love to you all
Rosemary
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