Hello everyone,
Carers - are they watching you?
My sister aged 92 lives alone and has some short term memory problems. I live with my husband about ten minutes drive away. I visit every day, do shopping; help her sort paperwork; wash bed sheets; change the bed; do some housework; wash her hair; see that she changes her clothes and generally look after her wellbeing. In order that she takes her medication, a carer goes in from a agency for fifteen minutes every morning. (I cannot be there until later in the day)
For my peace of mind, she also has a carer from the same agency to go in early evening for fifteen minutes. This is a kind of safeguard in case I am ill.
However, I always get the feeling that the carers are watching me and noting what I do, or don't do. I often take a cooked meal for my sister to heat in the oven. Does the carer note what I have taken and have a good 'nose' at what meal I have cooked. Do they notice when I have changed the bed sheets for example? I try to do this regularly but do they notice if I am late by a few days. Recently, a note was left for me from the carer saying that she had had to throw away some yoghurt and some cream cheese from the 'frig' as it was out of date. I felt awful, as I try to keep an eye on everything like that but had obviously overlooked those things. Do they notice if I haven't dusted properly?
I don't consider myself a 'carer' but just a caring sister. My husband and I are both in our eighties so he needs some looking after too.
The carers that go to my sister make me feel as though we have lost our family privacy. After all they are strangers. My sister has adapted to them very well but I as a family member and close relative find it difficult to adapt to what is really an intrusion. I know it is best for my sister but I feel under pressure to keep everything up to scratch because my sisters carers are watching.
Maybe somebody, somewhere feels the same.
Greta.
Carers - are they watching you?
My sister aged 92 lives alone and has some short term memory problems. I live with my husband about ten minutes drive away. I visit every day, do shopping; help her sort paperwork; wash bed sheets; change the bed; do some housework; wash her hair; see that she changes her clothes and generally look after her wellbeing. In order that she takes her medication, a carer goes in from a agency for fifteen minutes every morning. (I cannot be there until later in the day)
For my peace of mind, she also has a carer from the same agency to go in early evening for fifteen minutes. This is a kind of safeguard in case I am ill.
However, I always get the feeling that the carers are watching me and noting what I do, or don't do. I often take a cooked meal for my sister to heat in the oven. Does the carer note what I have taken and have a good 'nose' at what meal I have cooked. Do they notice when I have changed the bed sheets for example? I try to do this regularly but do they notice if I am late by a few days. Recently, a note was left for me from the carer saying that she had had to throw away some yoghurt and some cream cheese from the 'frig' as it was out of date. I felt awful, as I try to keep an eye on everything like that but had obviously overlooked those things. Do they notice if I haven't dusted properly?
I don't consider myself a 'carer' but just a caring sister. My husband and I are both in our eighties so he needs some looking after too.
The carers that go to my sister make me feel as though we have lost our family privacy. After all they are strangers. My sister has adapted to them very well but I as a family member and close relative find it difficult to adapt to what is really an intrusion. I know it is best for my sister but I feel under pressure to keep everything up to scratch because my sisters carers are watching.
Maybe somebody, somewhere feels the same.
Greta.