Advice please

[Karen _18021]

Hello I'm Karen and new to all this !
Me and my sister our careing for my mum who is end of life care She now lives in between my home and my sisters so half the week at mine and half the week at my sisters te 24 hour care day and night we both have children and work and finding this so hard to to work too I only work a couple of days but I'm so tired my health mindly is suffering I want to keep my job of 20 years and have been racking my brain to keep it but financially 62 carers money split 2 ways is going to leave me drowning I wanted to take a career break but £ 30 a week I earn about £470 pm with my 2 days that's a big drop ! Is there any way in which I can turn to ?
Thanks Karen x

[sunnydisposition]

So sorry for you present situation. Both you and your sister can apply for a carers assessment. Even though mum is in two different places part of the week. Your local social services can supply an assessment. There should also be an assessment for you mum. To identify her current situation and present on going needs. Don't be deterred if social services state only one of you can have an assessment. You and your sister need to speak with your own G.P.'S. Who can also sign post agencies on your behalf. You do not have to give up or leave you employment. You may be able to both get carers allowance depending on the hours you each share. Additionally, you own weekly salary/income.

https://www.helpandcare.org.uk/services ... factsheet/

Speak to Carers OK help line or your local citizen advice.

[Henrietta]

I'm fairly sure only one of you will be able to claim CA and so you must decide which of you and share it out between you.
You've mentioned mum is needing end of life care so perhaps look into hospice care or consider if she may be entitled to CHC funding.
I found it virtually impossible to get anyone to tell me dad was EoL until about his last week by which time it is too late for CHC but if you have been told that by hospital or GP , CHC may be your best route. They may be able to fund care at home if you are wanting to keep mum in the home environment.

[bowlingbun]

You should be receiving lots of help. Mum should be claiming Attendance Allowance (special Fast Track is possible) and Fast Track Continuing Healthcare, applied for by your GP. It sounds like mum NEEDS to go into a nursing home where there is a team of nursing staff to care for her 24/7. She can come home to you if well enough, you can go and see her whenever you want, but the physical care is done by someone else. My mum was too frail to live at home any more. When still at home she would reach for her jobs list as I walked in, jobs "saved specially" for me when I was newly widowed, newly disabled, with a son who had severe learning difficulties to care for, a national club to run, and 30 tons of vintage lorry spares to sort and sell. (No, that is not any exaggeration at all!!!!)
It is sad that mum is dying, but you have to think about what she needs, because it's not what any of you would really want.
Are you getting any hospice or District Nurse Support? Do you know how much longer mum has? Have you Googled "Signs of Dying" so you are prepared for how things will be in the final weeks? Have you and your sister talked about funeral arrangements, service, music etc.?
I know it's all horrible, horrible, horrible, but it's so much easier to arrange in advance, to accept what will happen, organise what you can, before it is forced upon you by circumstance. Once you are confident everything has been thought about, then you can concentrate on making the most of all the time you have left with mum. If you need to know what others here did, just ask and we will share our own experiences,in the hope that it might make things easier for you.

[hamsterwheel]

Both you and your sister can apply for a carers assessment.
https://www.helpandcare.org.uk/services ... factsheet/

That link states:

If you share your caring role with another person, and you both provide 35 hours of care per week for one individual you will need to decide who is going to claim Carers Allowance.

which seems to indicate that it can't be claimed by two people.

[Karen _18021]

Thanks for your response
Yes she has visits from a hospice called Arthur rank. She has aplied with the doctor form to hurry her claim as she end if life. So am I right in thinking social services can help us each get our own careers allowance? Or have I read that wrong It's so hard but I just haven't got the heart to put her in a home Just feeling bitter that the government think it's exceptable to work look after a family and a parent who is terminally ill with high class medication nebulisers 24 hour oxygen usage and can't do nothing for herself apart from eat some dinner feel let down sorry for moaning

[bowlingbun]

Your mum's GP must do a FAST TRACK application for Continuing Healthcare, and then help should be provided in 48 hours. Make sure he understands this, some GP's don't understand the system. Mum can choose whether to be supported at home or in a nursing home.
Mum is entitled to FAST TRACK Attendance Allowance too, you can do this on her behalf.
Stop feeling bitter, the help IS there, you just need to follow the system, and also accept that mum's care needs may be so high that she needs full time nursing care at the end, either in hospital or a nursing home.

[Karen _18021]

Thanks everyone