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Where can I get a holiday for me, my daughter and my mum ... - Carers UK Forum

Where can I get a holiday for me, my daughter and my mum ...

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paid for......
while i care for both of them while on the holiday.
My husband works, and he has booked himself a holiday.
Its no holiday for him with all of us. He works, we get no benefits so why shouldnt he?
Yet, if i apply for anything, grants etc, his income is taken into account so I am not eligable.
I only get Ca and im dependant on him to pay for my keep etc.
Where is my self respect, my own right as a full time carer to be paid a fair days wage for a fair days work so I can contribute to my keep?
Hi Mairie. Your husband works. And what do you think you are doing with daughter and mum while he is at work? I'm sorry if I am sounding blunt but I think if hubby's booked himself a holiday, that is just a little selfish.

Try approaching Saga to give yourself a holiday. Not sure about your mum and daughter. It's a shame but I have the same problem with my husband.
Thanks Dorothy,
Perhaps its better to stay at home anyway.......
much easier , holidays are hard work. And I cant go on a holiday by myself.
Im sorry I posted this thread.
x
The point Dorothy is making may seem blunt, mairie, but it is valid, if you went away as a family you could share the caring and all get a break as well as having an opportunity go out and enjoy yourselves knowing that the people you care for are safe in the hands of another family member, you could take turns to do the caring. A holiday is hardly a holiday if you are having to do the same work as you do at home and, as you say, caring is harder in a strange environment but if the three of you went away with your mother and daughter you could all benefit, going out as a family, going out individually and going out in pairs. We all contribute to the family in different ways but no one contribution is less valuable than another.
Annie, thanks for the reply.
Hubbie doesnt want to go on holiday with us, its no break for him, and it would be too expensive.
Its easier for everyone if I continue doing what I do.
And a break for you, mairie? I imagine that most if not all of us on here would agree that caring is a great deal more demanding in every way than any job we have had. I am afraid that in your situation I would insist that we both had a break by each having a cheaper, shorter holiday or that the whole family went away together and shared the caring but you know what works best in your family, it just makes me sad to see you caring without respite of any sort year after year, having done it myself for only seven years I am aware of the price we pay and the impact it has on our ability to care and therefore on the people we care for, everyone needs a break of some description even for a few hours a week.
Mairie I really think your hubby is being a bit selfish, he could go with you and you could take turns at the caring so you both get a bit of a break Image
Hi mairie

There was a thread on here a while back started by someone who was trying to arrange free or very cheap holiday accomadation for carers, I don't know if anything came of it. Or it could be worth looking into Individual Budget? as mentioned on another thread.
Hi

I don't understand.
I am a husband i assisted my wife as you all know i don't like the word care as i take it as part of my pledge to my wife in marriage.
What as happened to the bit your husband said for better for worse in sickness and in health.
The word used above in other posting's Selfish ring's a bell.
You work hard where's your reward.
Your husband may be in a position where he may need a carer one day i only hope you are not on holiday at the time.
John
Annie, thanks for the reply.
Hubbie doesnt want to go on holiday with us, its no break for him, and it would be too expensive.
Its easier for everyone if I continue doing what I do.
It might be easier for everyone else Mairie if you continue what you are doing but not easier for you. If I'm honest, I feel like you and let everyone else have their holidays and enjoy their life thinking I can just carry on. I think we referred to ourselves as doormats in another thread and its true.

Just think about what everyone has said, they are all thinking about you, because Mairie you are the most important person in your family, without you where would they be Image

Big hugs
Blue Image xx