[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 585: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 641: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
A description of a carer. - Page 3 - Carers UK Forum

A description of a carer.

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
When i used to go to the carers Centre years ago i had absolutely nothing in common with any of them. Our caree is 27 years old - at the time when he was diagnosed with DMD he was 6 years old. His condition is progressive (as is mine). Although he is no way shape or form a pensioner we do have a lot of equipment and medication so I can relate to that part.

However pensioners (as far as I know) don't want to go clubbing and expect their carers (mum and dad ie us!) to put them to bed at 4 in the morning!

I suppose older people have to cope with the loss of their friends to death and knowing it could happen to them at any time - so has my 27 year old son - most of his friends were teenagers though who had never even had a chance at a life unlike most older people.

Eun
Good to see you posting, Eun.

I somehow missed this when it came round first. No idea why!

It appears very narrow and makes huge assumptions about carers, probably based on a very narrow range of experience. Fair enough as a personal example, but...

To be honest, if you want a good description of a carer, take a wander round this site - lots of evidence here!
I remember being given a book long ago which said that feelings were facts. To the person who wrote this, it reflected the way she was feeling at the time, so for her it was right. I can identify with much of what she says. Caring has simply overwhelmed everything that was ever important to me.
Caring has simply overwhelmed everything that was ever important to me.
ABSOLUTELY xxxxxxx
The title sums it up - A description of A carer, not all carers.

Different situations, some of us happy with our lot, some not, some bitter at the hand we (and often our carees) have been dealt, some philosophical and accepting. How can there possibly be a "typical" description..there can't be, not in the sense of some kind of group because we..as are our carees..are individuals.
Five letters that in their truest sense mean enduring the agony 24/7.
What a load of couilles (excuse my French) . Another example of the "lets slash our wrists now because we are all doomed" sensationalism that seems to have become de rigueur.
I have a friend in Western Australia, Leonora, a former hospital matron, who cares for her 95 year old mum, also a former nurse. Leonora came over here for a holiday a few years ago, so we discussed respite arrangements. In Western Australia, carers have a right to residential respite on a regular basis, and it's very good quality. Clearly, the government there has realised that in the long run, it's cheaper to have an elderly person in residential care for part of the year, not all of the year.Here, even many of our hospitals are providing sub standard care to the elderly. Little wonder that some carers end up feeling imprisoned.
For me, being a Carer, crept up on me with stealth, very quietly, and before ki knew it I was a Carer.

Well not strictly true, My mum bought me up to 'Care', I had/have 2 younger sisters, When the second one was borne, I was kept off school to 'house keep' whilst mum was in hospital. that meant cooking for my dad, and sister, keeping the house clean and tidy, and sorting out the laundry (bag wash, in those days).

I can't help it I just do it without thinking.

When our son was just a toddler, he soon realised that if he call out "Dad" in the night, I could get to him before his mum.

The thin is 99.9% of the time I enjoy being Jan Carer, I don't think anyone could do a better job of looking after her than me. In a way it make me happy to be the one that 'Carers'.
As I have said before, I get to spend 24/7/365, with the one I love. It's not allways a bed of roses, but that just adds spice.
so My description of a Carer is: It can be someone that slips into the roll without thinking, then suddenly, before they know it, they are a Carer, and they can't think of doing anything else, it would seem strange.
Some remote family members (we hardly ever see them) have accused me of being possessive, were Jan is concerned, well I suppose I am so that could be added to my description too.
A very thought-provoking topic.
Everyone's caring situation and experiences are different of course.
I slid into the role when my marriage failed and returning to the family home was the only logical step financially. This was only meant to be a temporary set up at the time.
Mum's condition continued to deteriorate so I made the decision to stay put and be her main carer. I could not and will still not contemplate her going into residential care as she is so mentally sharp but not mobile without help - It would destroy her.
OK so any social life goes out of the window but to me that doesn't matter and if your friends can't appreciate that they aren't true friends. I don't regret that decision one little bit but I am often angry with the hand she has been dealt. I used to feel really guilty about getting sharp with family if they wouldn't do there bit but the carer must stick up for themselves.
Hello everyone. I don't post much because I'm useless on a computer, at least sending messages etc. But I do log on a lot and read all the posts. After a very stressful day as my husbands only carer, I read the' Description of a Carer' I feel so tired and stressed these days that I've just been shouting at my husband as I helped him to shower. I feel ashamed of myself. I love him dearly and we've been married for 52 yrs. we have three children, but sadly two of them, our eldest son and our youngest daughter live down south , whilst we live in the North. They both have families of their own and lead busy lives. They come to visit about three/ four times a year. Our middle daughter lives only 5 mins away and she works as assistant manager in a residental home for the elderly, with a Dementia unit. Great, you must think, but she does absolutely nothing to help. She'll breeze in asking ' How is my lovely Dad today' stays about 10 mins and thats it. She never asks if I want any shopping or offers to help in any way, and yet everyone thinks she's wonderful. . Why do I get so angry? I feel so tired. we do have a carer who comes on a Wednesday morning to sit with my husband for two hours, while I go to the supermarket, but thats it. I do have those vouchers but I don't want to leave my husband as he's not keen on my leaving him with them. Please someone out there, tell me what is wrong with me, shouting and raving at a man I love. Will has Parkinson's dementia or Dementia with Lewy Bodies, the medic's have'nt made their minds up yet. Thank you for listening.