Person I care for keeps changing mind if they need a carer.

[Guest]

Hello I care for somebody with bad mental health problems and needs somebody with her most of the time. She I think has Bi-polar manic depression and its getting worse and worse. The problem I'm getting is she is getting very abusive and when she is really Low says she dosnt want me to be a carer anymore and that I should stop the next day. Then a few days later she will always change her mind. Its very difficult I feel like just giving up and leaving her to it but we have a child together and I dont really want to leave her... she wont cope on her own. The problem is if I do just stop caring for her and tell the carers allowance people and then a few days later she needs me again its very annoying. HOw do the carers people handle this situation. Can they just reinstate it all again its such a problem and really messes me about I think thats why she does it. I hope this makes sense I just wondered if anybody else had this problem.

[charles47]

Hi Pippip, and welcome.

I can't believe we've all missed your post - we don't usually leave it that long to reply, I do apologise!

It's always tough to look after someone with a mental health difficulty, and bipolar is particularly tough because of the mood swings that you have to deal with.

Whatever you do, don't cancel your Carers Allowance until you are absolutely sure that either:

a) you don't want to care for your partner, or

b) she doesn't want you to care for her.

Getting it back can be a nightmare.

If she has a CPN (Community Psychiatric Nurse), it may help to talk to them. If she doesn't I'd contact her GP to discuss the situation and see if more help can be made available.