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Mum cannot cope with looking after my dad any more

Posted: Tue May 21, 2013 9:51 pm
by Jennie crapper
My mother has severe copd. My father severe OCD. He expects her to look after him irrespective of her health. He does not care for her at all. He is in hospital and wants to go home but mother cannot look after him and wants him to go into respite care to allow her to have rest. What can I do to make sure he does not go home.

Re: Mum cannot cope with looking after my dad any more

Posted: Wed May 22, 2013 10:03 am
by Lazydaisy
if your Dad is in hospital the staff should be putting a care plan into place before he is discharged.If he needs more support than your Mum can give(especially if your Mum does not have good health herself),then other plans need to be put into place.
You probably need to point this out to the Dr or nurse in charge of your Dad in hospital,so that they can get a care plan organised.
You could also ask Social Services for a Carers Assessment for your Mum.
Good luck.

Re: Mum cannot cope with looking after my dad any more

Posted: Wed May 22, 2013 5:39 pm
by crocus
I agree with lazydaisy.
Your mum or you must explain to the hospital that she isnt able to care for your dad without extra support, otherwise your dad will probably say that there is no problem and his wife is perfectly able to do everything Image Make sure they are aware of the full extent of the problem. So many carees become very "attached" to their carer and wont let anyone else do the caring, but your mum must be firm, otherwise she may well become even more ill.
A carers assessment is a good idea too.

Re: Mum cannot cope with looking after my dad any more

Posted: Wed May 22, 2013 9:37 pm
by bowlingbun
Find out if the hospital has weekly case conferences or similar dealing with patients and likely discharge. Very often you say something to the nurses that doesn't get listened to or acted upon properly, they're usually snowed under. It's the consultant who usually has the last word about discharge, so he/she is the one you need to talk to most.