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How to approach delicate subjects! - Carers UK Forum

How to approach delicate subjects!

For issues related to specific conditions and disabilities.
Hi, I'm Val.
My Dad has asked me to try to help because he doesn't think my 85 yr old Mum is showering properly when she goes into the bathroom. It is quite possible that she would forget why she is there, or if she had showered or not. Also not sure about how often she changes her clothes. But she is a very private person, and we are trying to keep her doing all she can. She still does the washing but I'm not sure about which cycle she uses! How can I approach the problem without upsetting and alienating her. Any cunning ideas?
Thankfully, I have not had to deal with this but a couple of ideas come to mind -

Get some gorgeous scented shower gel, use a little bit, then take it to your Mum saying something like 'I know you love rose/lavender/whatever scent, perhaps you could use this up? It's lovely to use, but my partner hates the smell!'

Do you know her clothing sizes? Get a new blouse for her (maybe for a special occasion, birthday etc) and make sure to point out what wash it needs - she won't wash it on it's own. Ask later, 'Did that blouse wash all right?'.

Perhaps my moniker should be 'Sneaky'?
also try -- have u used that new washpowder, it smells lovley,, even get her some and then u will know by the smell on the clothes if she is using it.

Or say u have a problem with getting your washing clean-- what cycle does she use? she will feel very motherly that u have asked her.

Also and pushing it a bit-- get her some kandoo wipes for the loo,,, then after visiting the toilet u know she will have had a wipe and be a bit fresher
Thank you both of you. You have given me some ideas to try!
Val
good luck and let us know if it works!
Baby wipes....one of the best inventions in my world.


When mum was bed ridden she always found the strength to tip the bowl of water when being bed bathed. She hated it with a passion. I used to warm some baby wipes, give her one to wipe her face and hands, and whilst she did that the rest of her was wiped all over, just like a baby. We used to joke "If they`re good enough for a baby, they are good enough for my mummy!"

They also clean glasses without smearing, mirrors don`t steam up for days after being wiped with a baby wipe, and the cleaning uses aroung the house would fill a book.

Happy wiping

Take care
Meg
baby wipes are a godsend!

amy often has a baby wipe wash!

and when we are in hospital so do i! huggies though seem to fall apart-- papmers are expensive,, tesco and boots own brand are pretty good though and hold moisture!
They also clean glasses without smearing, mirrors don`t steam up for days after being wiped with a baby wipe, and the cleaning uses aroung the house would fill a book.
Good for cleaning TV screens too.
they get pen off of TV screens!

and my flat wonderful monitor (£1 off of ebay) gets pen off of that too

they also
1, get dog poo off of the carpet
2 get trainers clean
3 great for cleaning flies off of matts bike
4 great for getting coffee stains off of a table
5 good for when u spill things down yourself
6 good for cleaning crome like the taps
7 put one in the tumbledryer and works like overpriced bounce sheets and the house then smells like a clean baby!
Val has your mum got bad hands?
if so may be she cant spray a can of deodarent or like. then try her on a rollaball or soled bar.
or maybe she has lost her sence of smell ? to find out try getting her to smell stuff you can say do you think this has gone off i`m not shore.
if she says she cant smell anythink that could be the problem have a ward with her Dr.
hope this is of help.