Anyone caring for severe brain danage?

[fourmerk]

I would be interested to "speak" to other carers. My husband had an accident and has severe brain damage. Physically he is fine and people who meet him think he is fine now, but he is a different person but with his long term memory intact.

He has no insight into his disabilities and deficits and so will not accept help to move forward. He thinks he is getting better but cannot say what was wrong in the first place. He has been told he cannot go back to work but disregards that. He is fixated on me as I am the only constant in his life and it is suffocating to be told a hundred times a say how much he loves me, how much he needs me and he wants to hug and kiss me at inappropriate times, (like when I have a scalding hot fryingpan in my hand). Because he has violent rages and has assaulted me, he is no longer living at home but I do his cooking and laundry and see him every day.

He is frustrated because he can't live at home; his love is a very self-centred type of love. He thinks I don't want him home but I can't live being suffocated and scared and social services won't let him come home anyway as they think I am at risk from him.

I am exhausted in just being with him as his temper is so unpredictable and I am stressed about finance, about his partners threatening to break his partnership contract and about the compensation claim, which the people who were negligent are going to defend. I also have no help now on the farm and although I have time to feed the animals, I don't have time or help to handle youngstock or worm dose them.

[cotula]

Hi Fourmerk,

Welcome to the forum. Others will be along sometime soon, although it does go a it quieter at weekends.

I do not know about your caring situation, but I do know that that having single-handed responsibility for livestock must be a heavy load in itself. I worked on farms in student vacations and later worked as a nutritionist in the animal feed industry, including 6 years with North Eastern Farmers in Aberdeen in the 1980s. I wonder if 'Farming Help' might be able to give you a bit of support - their website is at http://www.farminghelp.co.uk and their helpline is on 0845 367 9990. If they don't operate in Scotland themselves, I hope they could point you towards a similar organisation that does.

Let us know how you get on.

Regards,

cotula