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Re: Developing incontinence close to hospital discharge

Posted: Wed Jan 22, 2014 1:41 pm
by Violet
Have they tried other antibiotic options to see if the incontinence side effects can be lessened or even eliminated?

Re: Developing incontinence close to hospital discharge

Posted: Wed Jan 22, 2014 2:11 pm
by bowlingbun
Amy, how are you getting on? Have they actually discharged mum now?

Re: Developing incontinence close to hospital discharge

Posted: Wed Jan 22, 2014 5:37 pm
by amy green
No, she is still in hospital but on the mend regarding recovering from the pneumonia infection. Since she was bedridden a lot (being in too much pain), she is having to learn to regain her walking ability. They exercise her twice a day. She used to be able to walk (slowly), but seems now to rely on a zimmerframe...very shakily at that. At least now I am able to help her out of bed - at one time she required 2 people to do this and that was a worry (regarding returning home like that).

The current plan is that she may well need to go on elsewhere to get back some of her physical abilities - rehab place before coming back to her home. She is still wearing incontinent pads but is sometimes able to get to the toilet.

Today was such an awful day. She has borderline dementia which appears to be worsening. Her voice is so soft now and my hearing is not 100%. If I don't hear her the first time, she tends to go ballistic - screaming with clenched fists. So hostile and aggressive. Today is was very marked and made me cry. It's an effort to visit her anyway...2 buses - so I don't go there for unfair abuse or to make her life worse. She seems very depressed and weepy....that is not dementia. It may well be her coming to terms with her loss of ability or lack of sleep. Hard to tell. When she is like that, nothing I can do helps. If I try to physically console her, she'll push me away aggressively. I feel at saturation point with it all, i.e. if she is to return being more
in hostile mode than before...I don't know that I can continue being her carer. After 2 years of being her full time, housebound carer (with carer support/relief 3 times a week for 4 hours), I now feel almost totally spent.

Re: Developing incontinence close to hospital discharge

Posted: Wed Jan 22, 2014 7:06 pm
by bowlingbun
I'm so sorry to hear that the dementia is getting worse. A rehab place would give you some more breathing space, when you can have a very serious discussion about the care which mum will need when discharged. I've chosen those words carefully. If staff say that mum needs to have awake care 24/7 then you might have to accept that she now needs more care than one person, however devoted, can give. How would you cope is she was very aggressive to you when at home? It might make your decision easier, one way or the other, if you do some research about what is available locally for those with dementia - which will also cope with her physical disability. You might find it helpful to talk to the staff at a specialist home before deciding what to do. Be realistic about your own limitations.

Re: Developing incontinence close to hospital discharge

Posted: Wed Jan 22, 2014 11:12 pm
by amy green
Thanks bowlingbun for your advice and consideration re. my situation. Appreciated. Image

I have a brother and sister who will be also helping me make whatever decision seems more appropriate. We will be looking at all options and, thankfully, money is no barrier. It may well be that I have come to the end of what I can do for her alone; I see that fairly clearly now. There has been talk about getting another care support worker here more full time (since my mum would obviously prefer to return to her home) but am not sure that is a viable option given that the slightest thing I do seems to annoy her now, i.e. it will always be far too stressful. She is just verbally aggressive but that, in itself, is upsetting. Guess living with her 24/7 for 2 years + increased dementia is finally having a climactic impact now.

Again, thanks for asking and giving me time to post your thoughts. Image