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Care home? - Carers UK Forum

Care home?

For issues related to specific conditions and disabilities.
I'm sorry if this isn't in the right section,but I didn't know which one to put it in.

For the past 3 months my husband and I have been full time carers for his severly disabled brother. Their parents passed away and we wanted his brother to stay with us. Nobody has guardianship with him. My husband only has the title of appointee given by the DWP and thats to deal with BIL disability payments.

Unfortantley its too much for us to do. Brother in law is 30 but has the mental age of 3. Hes aggressive, refuses to speak, and its hard for us to cope. Imagine a 3 year old having a temper tantrum, but inside a 30 year old mans body. And on top of all of it, we literally have to bathe him,cloth him,and do his hygeine for him. As he refuses to do it himself.

We have decided it would be best for him to go into a care home. And perhaps there,people who are trained to deal with disablities such as his,can help him. And honestly, maybe it will be better for him, as we don't know how to do help him. When my husbands and his parents passed away, we wanted him to stay with us and me be his full time carer because we thought it was the best thing to do at the time and really wanted to help him. But his brother just wants things done "his way" and we can't live our lives that way and gets upset and angry when its not done his way. Its stressful for the both of us.

We looked into care homes online, but they want almost £1000 a week. Which we can not afford. Is there any way social services can put him in a good carehome,(a place where he will be looked after properly and not just shoved into a room and ignored) or do all carehomes require us to pay for him to stay there?

Thanks for reading, and I really hope everyone will be understanding about this and I won't get put down or flamed.
Nobody here is going to put you down or flame you, dont worry. Welcome to the forum

Thats a very difficult situation that you are in I must say. I come onto this section as my hubby has epilepsy, but not many people do and I am concerned that perhaps the people with this sort of experience may not see it.
May I suggest that you post it again in either the New to the Forum section
viewforum.php?f=24
or the Learning Disabilities section
//forum.carersuk.org/viewforum.php?f=24

Probably the new to the forum section would be best as most people will see it there.
thank you for your reply. I reposted it in that section
Hi there Sterling and welcome to the forum. I see you have reposted on to the new members section so I will lock this thread to ensure all your "welcomes" are in one place! Good to have you on board.

Bell x