Advice on social services and residential care

[Ruth_1603]

My husband has secondary progressive MS. He is fully wheelchair bound, and apart from the basics such as feeding himself (which he struggles with now) and drinking etc. He is fully dependent. He is not talkative, and his cognition is very poor.He is currently in hospital following another uti. Due to my poor health, physical and emotionally and the fact my sons dad died suddenly last year. I have asked if he can go into a care home as I can no longer cope. I don't want carers coming in due to past poor experience, and it makes me feel even more anxious, also the privacy aspect. My husband is okay about this, and he would have activities and have 24 hour care. The social worker though is not listening and say he has no night time needs, so doesn't fit the criteria ( he wakes up in the night disoriented most nights or is incontinent, so I have to clean him up)
social worker has said carers are coming in as of next week, I've said I don't want this, but not being listened to. Really don't know what to do. All I know is our lives are in limbo and can't think straight. Any advice please.

[MrsAverage]

Hello Ruth
I'm afraid I dont know but wanted to let you know your post has been read.
May I suggest you contact the helpline under the red boxes at the top of the page? If you can't get through by phone, which is often busy, try by email.
Xx
MrsA

[Pet66]

Hello Ruth
Have you checked out care / nursing homes in your area as some sort of guidance. At least you can say to the social worker. I also feel an email to the social workers supervisor would be of benefit. Cut the head of department into the email. You obviously need some help before your health deteriorates even more.
A doctor's recommendation in writing would be more ammunition regarding both your husband's and your own health.
So sorry to hear this is happening you.

[bowlingbun]

Social workers often say they can't force people into residential care if they don't want to go, so surely the reverse applies equally?

[Ruth_1603]

I put a complaint in to social services...no response. Looked into care homes which are suitable, but unable to fund this ourselves. As on benefits and no savings or own property etc. The hospital have sent him home by taxi with a care package in place. Asked for bed rails twice, still waiting for them. Carers came in. At 4 pm before my husband got back and are due to come back apparently (he normally goes to bed at 4pm as tired by then) but haven't come back yet. My husband wants to go to bed, care agency don't have a support plan in place until Thursday. And I have no idea what times they are coming. My husband is hoisted and I can't get his sling on, or have energy to do so. They are also supposed to do meds etc. Reason why I don't want carers coming in. Complete disaster from the start. I agreed to give them a chance , but still determined that residential care is needed Not slept for 3 nights as just wound up and stressed. Just want to cry

[bowlingbun]

Complain to the hospital CEO's office about an unsafe discharge, they should have made sure Social Services had everything in place BEFORE discharge. Ring Social Services head office Complaints Department tomorrow and make a formal complaint to them too. Don't ring the local office, as the complaint will inevitably be "lost"!

[rosemary]

Put any complaints in writing too and keep copies. Take a note of all phone calls and whom with. Dates and times and a brief outline of what was said. Bowlingbun gave good advice re Head office.

Check with hospital to see if they have a PALS officer - you can read more about them here
http://www.nhs.uk/chq/pages/1082.aspx?CategoryID=68

They can help with complaints against NHS.

Get both your hubby/your own GP's on board if different.

Ask for a copy of the assessment done in the hospital. If that still states you felt unable to provide his care at home, there needs be a full investigation as staff have possibly been negligent in sending him home. If it says you were willing to give it a try, the care package should still have been sorted in full BEFORE he was sent home.

Social services must be satisfied that any vulnerable adult is living in an environment in which they can be adequately cared for. If the main carer says that they can no longer care, no pressure should be put on them to change their mind.

x x

[bowlingbun]

Tell Social Services that you need Emergency Respite NOW. A while ago, we had someone who had reached the end of her tether, she rang the ambulance, and her caree was taken to hospital. If you don't get anywhere tomorrow with people helping you, then I think that is definitely an option for you. None of the procedures have been followed and that is entirely the fault, and the responsibility, of the hospital concerned. The easiest way to cut through the red tape is to ring the Hospital Chief Executive's Office. You'll speak to his PA, in all probability. Be sure to mention that he was sent home in a taxi without any of the procedures being followed. Mention "unsafe discharge" (Buzz Words to the CEO as they can be fined). Don't take no for an answer. Insist on action. Threaten with going to the Press.
I've had to resort to the CEO for action on a number of occasions, it's quicker and easier than anything else. They then put on their boots and kick everyone down the chain of command! Because the CEO is doing the kicking, his boots are bigger than yours, because the managers below know that their career prospects are on the line!!!

[Bernadette_1608]

Hi

I am no expert on this but have Mum in hospital with broken neck and dementia. When they suggested she go home with carers coming and nurses I asked hospital to complete a Continuing Health Care Checklist. What the social worker is saying is outside of her remit. Do some research on the Checklist, I found it all a bit confusing at first but got some really good advice and support on here. Once the checklist is completed you can still ask for a full assessment of his needs. There is a really good website called Care to be different and they give examples.

Hope all goes well for you.

[Honey Badger]

They should really just run the check list and signpost you to continued healthcare (NHS) funding, hubby clearly has a primary health need which is not going away and you have both acknowledged it is time to think about residential care.

Social workers often say they can't force people into residential care if they don't want to go, so surely the reverse applies equally?

I'd have a look at cases such as Teresa Kirk's and rethink how much power social services have (through court of protection amendments) particularly under the current government, its quite eye opening.