Hi
Fortunately I do not feel the frustration with both of my husband's consultants after he had the last stroke. The first was very kind to me and my family and thorough with hubby. He didn't diagnosis dementia but warned that more was going on than a stroke. Hubby went to an assessment hospital. The consultant in that hospital eventually concluded that he has vascular dementia. She very strongly advised me that it would not be in my best interests,or more importantly my husband's, that he came home. Complex needs too much.I had managed blindly for the previous 2 years. Looking back, it's a wonder I didn't have a breakdown myself! Thankfully, my daughter's have and still are a wonderful support along with son in laws and grandchildren.All devastated. Also the forum, everyone has helped me to realise that It's not my fault, that I must have some life etc etc.. I hate those words....." put" a loved one in a home... I certainly didn't" put" him there. In fact it's a promise I couldn't keep ( years ago we made the promise to each other).
Some promises are impossible to keep. I find it so sad when I read of others trying to fulfil such a promise, when it's clearly detrimental to all concerned.Life isn't easy is it,when such devastating,emotionally charged things happen, and people in the medical and caring professions poo poo your concerns. Thank goodness for the ones who listen!!
Fortunately I do not feel the frustration with both of my husband's consultants after he had the last stroke. The first was very kind to me and my family and thorough with hubby. He didn't diagnosis dementia but warned that more was going on than a stroke. Hubby went to an assessment hospital. The consultant in that hospital eventually concluded that he has vascular dementia. She very strongly advised me that it would not be in my best interests,or more importantly my husband's, that he came home. Complex needs too much.I had managed blindly for the previous 2 years. Looking back, it's a wonder I didn't have a breakdown myself! Thankfully, my daughter's have and still are a wonderful support along with son in laws and grandchildren.All devastated. Also the forum, everyone has helped me to realise that It's not my fault, that I must have some life etc etc.. I hate those words....." put" a loved one in a home... I certainly didn't" put" him there. In fact it's a promise I couldn't keep ( years ago we made the promise to each other).
Some promises are impossible to keep. I find it so sad when I read of others trying to fulfil such a promise, when it's clearly detrimental to all concerned.Life isn't easy is it,when such devastating,emotionally charged things happen, and people in the medical and caring professions poo poo your concerns. Thank goodness for the ones who listen!!