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I'm tired and in pain - Page 3 - Carers UK Forum

I'm tired and in pain

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
Melina_1806a wrote:
Mon Apr 19, 2021 1:43 pm
bowlingbun wrote:
Mon Apr 19, 2021 5:04 am
Why are you continually blaming yourself for mum's situation?
Why do you have to look after your brother?
Does mum say this??
Neither of them are your responsibility!!!
If mum was disabled when you were young mum should have done everything possible to ensure you had a happy normal childhood by getting a proper package of care for herself. Were you ever in a Young Carers group, for example?
You say you just want them to be happy?
Isn't it time they wanted YOU to be happy and healthy too??
Your well being is every bit as important as theirs.
Hello and thank you for replying. No my mum doesn't blame me. I depart treatment when my mum had a stroke. Of I had phoned the ambulance sooner he wouldn't of been disabled and as a result develop type 2 diabetes. I know this for a fact a nurse and paramedics told me this. I fed her bad food and now she has diabetes. I'm also prediabetic. I'm the common denominator in this. It's all my fault. So I don't care about being happy.
I'm not sure how much we can say - your are not to blame. Is going to help towards you excepting this to be true. I feel you need to have a one to one professional input. To work through these events - you are carrying a lot of unnecessary guilt.
bowlingbun wrote:
Mon Apr 19, 2021 2:00 pm
You are not being fair on yourself. Have you ever told a counsellor about how you feel?

Imagine you were in Australia at the time. Who would be around to call the ambulance then?

Mum is responsible for how she lives, what she eats,. what she does.
Lots of people get diabetes, cancer, have strokes, have accidents.
Everyone is ultimately responsible for themselves. Mum, you, your brother.

Most importantly, in the current situation, your mum needs to have outside carers.
She may not want them, but she needs them.
Then you can get out more and enjoy life more.

Your current situation is unhealthy, and that can only change if you get out more.
Hello thank you. I hear what you are saying. But I'm no better I drank I smoked and ate bad. And now I'm paying the price. I cannot judge my mother had been through alot worse than I have. Yes we all have choices . I am her carer and I knew better. I feel like me and mum are comfort eaters. Plus with hear brain injury due to stroke I know she doesn't fully understand . So this is why I'm fully responsible.

Yes I may look into more help.thank you.
sunnydisposition wrote:
Mon Apr 19, 2021 2:49 pm
Melina_1806a wrote:
Mon Apr 19, 2021 1:43 pm
bowlingbun wrote:
Mon Apr 19, 2021 5:04 am
Why are you continually blaming yourself for mum's situation?
Why do you have to look after your brother?
Does mum say this??
Neither of them are your responsibility!!!
If mum was disabled when you were young mum should have done everything possible to ensure you had a happy normal childhood by getting a proper package of care for herself. Were you ever in a Young Carers group, for example?
You say you just want them to be happy?
Isn't it time they wanted YOU to be happy and healthy too??
Your well being is every bit as important as theirs.
Hello and thank you for replying. No my mum doesn't blame me. I depart treatment when my mum had a stroke. Of I had phoned the ambulance sooner he wouldn't of been disabled and as a result develop type 2 diabetes. I know this for a fact a nurse and paramedics told me this. I fed her bad food and now she has diabetes. I'm also prediabetic. I'm the common denominator in this. It's all my fault. So I don't care about being happy.
I'm not sure how much we can say - your are not to blame. Is not going to help towards you excepting this to be true. I feel you need to have a one to one professional input. To work through these events - you are carrying a lot of unnecessary guilt.
sunnydisposition wrote:
Mon Apr 19, 2021 5:35 pm
sunnydisposition wrote:
Mon Apr 19, 2021 2:49 pm
Melina_1806a wrote:
Mon Apr 19, 2021 1:43 pm

Hello and thank you for replying. No my mum doesn't blame me. I depart treatment when my mum had a stroke. Of I had phoned the ambulance sooner he wouldn't of been disabled and as a result develop type 2 diabetes. I know this for a fact a nurse and paramedics told me this. I fed her bad food and now she has diabetes. I'm also prediabetic. I'm the common denominator in this. It's all my fault. So I don't care about being happy.
I'm not sure how much we can say - your are not to blame. Is not going to help towards you excepting this to be true. I feel you need to have a one to one professional input. To work through these events - you are carrying a lot of unnecessary guilt.
Yes I apologize I know you are helping and it can be exhausting. I do agree with you that I need therapy. Thank you for your kindness and helpful advice. It won't be forgotten.
Hello Melina,
If you haven't already done so have a look on the internet. Type out 'Self harm' , there is a lot of info and some advice and contact numbers.
You can get through this.
Karen Dee wrote:
Tue Apr 20, 2021 2:11 pm
Hello Melina,
If you haven't already done so have a look on the internet. Type out 'Self harm' , there is a lot of info and some advice and contact numbers.
You can get through this.
Thank you for this. I am looking for more help online. Thank you.
Hi Melina

How are things? Was any of the information the forum supplied been of use. And did you find anything that help you.
You should watch yourself. The plan is to pull yourself together and start serious treatment. You'll feel depressed until u get rid of this problem
Please do not tell the lovely people on this forum to ' pull yourself together' ! Its offensive and very unhelpful. It's not that easy.
sunnydisposition wrote:
Tue May 04, 2021 4:09 pm
Hi Melina

How are things? Was any of the information the forum supplied been of use. And did you find anything that help you.
Hello thank you for checking up on me. I looked into the links you posted I read alot. I actually came back on here to find the links again because I relapsed. I'm going to message the self harm group. I really appreciate your kindness and help. I hope you are well ? Please take care thank you.