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worried about the future - Carers UK Forum

worried about the future

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
My son has schizophrenia and lives with me (hes 34 years old) although he is quite stable at the moment and hasnt has a relapse for a good while he does also suffer with anxiety and can be quite bad at times. He does want to get a place of his own one day and has his name down on the council list for a flat.

I do worry worry weather he would be able to cope on his own, not so much the looking after himself bit like shopping, cooking and cleaning because he does that now living with me. But he does worry alot about paying bills and and everyday problems. I know he would always come to me if there was a problem and he knows that too. But what does really worry me a lot is when I do finally "go" how will he cope. I know there is always his brother and sister but he is very reluctant to go to them.

What I would ideally like is to see is him fully independent (and he has come a long way since he was first diagnosed ) and I know it is one step at a time. but I know this anxiety will be with him always.

I just wondered if anybody could put my mind at ease and make me feel easier about the future.
i cant offer u any advise other than say well done- it sounds like u have raised a really good lad there. (my o/h is nearly 40 and dont do shopping,cleaning or cooking!)

is there no key workers he has that u could talk to?
If he has a CPN you can discuss the possibilities of supported living so your son can remain independent with the support he needs to be able to do so.
hello 'concerned'. My son is also schizophrenic, (28) and has been hospitalised quite often in the last few years and I understand your worries. As has been said, has he a cpn or key worker?
It's just been arranged for my son to give up his flat that he has been using and move into a supported housing one, whereby the warden drops in to see him twice a day, or however many times that he needs her to. He hasn't moved in yet, but it seems hopeful. At least I know that someone will be physically looking out for him.
I hope that you will get something sorted to take the weight from your mind xx
hello caring mind

my son had a CPN up untill about 2 years ago because they thought that being he had been stable for so long there was no need for him to have a CPN, which was a shame really because he felt happy with a CPN now he just goes to see the Mental Health Team doctor every few months. He has a key worker but does not keep in regular contact with him.(hes ot very good with people) Ideally I would like him to have sheltered accommodation but he wants to be completly independant perhaps I can change his mind in the future.

Thanks for your comments though have made me feel a bit more positive.
Hello, Welcome. I'm new to the site as well and although my daughter has different needs to your son I totally understand your anxiety about what happens when we are no longer about to care for/support our children. We have a mental health carers group in our area - have you anything similar where you live? I'm sure there must be lots of parents in your/our position who can advise/support each other?
Jane
Hello Jane.

Thanks for reply. We do not actually have a carers support group in my area (we did have but it seemed to fizzle out). But there are support groups outside my area which would mean a bit of travelling but that does not really bother me. As you say its talking to people that are in the same situation as me. Thanks again.