Hi I have posted previously regarding my schizophrenic son. He has now moved into supported accommodation and is doing very well on the whole so I actually began to think life would start to improve for my husband and me. How wrong am I ! My son is coming home at random times sometimes we find him here when we wake up sometimes he comes when he is bored and sometimes when distressed. I already have him here for the day every Sunday and I visit him twice in the week also he knows I will come and talk to him whenever he is in crisis. I feel that's a lot of support seeing as im working full time in a very stressful job too. A new development this week my husband now says he is severely depressed and feels suicidal. He has had episodes in the past and was treated with medication but he doesn't want to see the Dr as they said next time he becomes depressed he will have to stay on medication permanently. This evening he has been snapping at me constantly and it's wearing me down now. It feels selfish but I feel like I have swapped one problem for another and it feels never ending. Sorry for the long rant
Oh Lord! I know this sounds trivial, but maybe you and your husband could do with a holiday 'away from it all'.
The question is - how to 'manage down' your son's continual contact with you and 'encourage' his independence more (which sounds like he's made a start on it with the supported living - in a way, though, it can be 'natural' that he might go through a post-moving-out phase where he sort of 'panics' that he's left home, and wants to come back to reassure himself 'home' is still where it used to be? So I guess being 'less availalbe' to him is necessary - which is something I know you will have to 'steel' yourself to, as it's natural maternal instinct to be 'on call'.
As for your husband, do you think this is a kind of post-stress reaction to his son moving out - as in, he held it together while your son was at home, but now he is away your husband feels he can 'collapse' more?
I dont' feel his doctor was very helpful - probably frustrated in his response - and it has to be good that your husband does NOT want to 'live on ADs permanently' - because it means he sees his current mental state as 'abnormal' rather than 'normal'....ie, he wants to 'improve'.
Has he had any counselling for his depression/suicidal thoughts? This would seem to be indicated, surely, however much - as a man! - he may not wish to discuss his feelings......
Right now, you have been cast as 'superwoman' holding everything together - and the strain is showing.