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What to do when a family member won't accept help? - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

What to do when a family member won't accept help?

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
Hi everyone

A bit of a panicked update if I'm honest.

My sister has contacted me today to say she's taking her daughter to be sectioned. Clearly that isn't fair and to top it off it is theasy child's father's (RIP) birthday so it will compound any damage done.

I've had to cut off contact - I'd already limited it but I've been very up front that I don't agree with this and that I don't believe the only problem is her daughter's behaviour.

On top of this I feel the boyfriend has recommended this. I have no evidence that he has but he has already recommended putting her in care (which won't happen) and has a history of sectioning his sister etc. It's also his birthday today and he's mad as hell that the daughter's behaviour has led to him not celebrating it with my sister.

I am also now aware that he has given a reason for avoiding her home now. He says that he's scared to visit in case my niece cries wolf about sexual abuse. Now that's not entirely without foundation as she once called her mother a 'raper' before she knew what 'rapist' actually meant but it does show his melodramatic tendencies which makes my sister's similar tendencies even worse.

I need to know if I have the right to ring her doctor now and explain our position on all this?

Many thanks xx
Oh dear - on the other hand, sectioning might just turn out to be a blessing in disguise. For a start, your niece will be observed. and evaluated by professional psychiatrists, well away in a 'safe place' from her mother and her mother's boyfriend. That may well lead to a significant change in your niece's future, if she is not simply 'returned' to her mother. Being sectioned has also, so other members here with children and young adult children with MH problems report, actually helped their children in terms of correct diagnosis, and getting them to accept any treatment that is really necessary.

Finally, would it be a good idea for you to speak indepdently to your sister's GP, and tell them that you would be more than willing to have your niece live with you (I think this is what you've said earlier, isn't it?), and for you to have the bringing up of her. Whether this is 'informal' or via 'fostering' or even 'adoption', hopefully 'the authorities' would look kindly on it (it's a nice cheap option for them after all, if nothing else!).

I think, from what you've said, that your niece might well be better off not being with her mother and her mother's ('dodgy'?) boyfriend, and being sectioned might actually be a step forward for her.

Wishing you well at a worrying time.
Your sister's GP may be reluctant to talk to you, on the grounds of patient confidentiality. However, if you assure him that you don't expect him to tell you anything, but you would like to tell him really important things about her, then he should listen and take on board what you are saying.