That does sound significantly more positive - well done!

I'm glad you are relatively financially secure - eg, that the mortgage is in your name etc etc - as that is reassuring for you, SHOULD you decide to 'make the break'.

However it does sound like you have started to shift him into 'I need to save my marriage!' mode, and him recognising finally just what is at stake here. And I would say you are achieving this because you are changing from 'enabling' mode to 'supporting' mode - ie, you are making clear (without aggression) how deep the problem is, and how you are seriously considering ending your relationship, and that is behaving like a real 'wake up' call for him.

It does sound like you are on the right track. Expect both 'kick back' and 'collapse' (and a kind of 'bluff calling' like 'Well, I'll leave straight away') but it DOES sound like he has started to realise that HE has to change, and change towards you (be nicer and more cheerful etc, as he has been doing). This may not last as in, he may have relapses, but providing he can still 'pick up' again, and that the lapses become rarer, the overall trend sounds like it could be upwards and onwards.

Make sure you 'reward' him when he is 'nice' so as to encourage him to 'stay nice' etc, and I definitely think the calm, non-aggressive attitude you are taking is the right one.

It's dreadful that a 'mere' physical need for painkillers has now become a mental/psychological/addictive one (I trhink Cocomodol is partly opiate, isn't it, hence the addictiveness?).

Maybe setting out some kind of 'timetable to happiness' would be helpful for him, to give him a framework, a ladder even, to gradually 'de-addict' himself, and move 'forward' to a 'happier place'. Can you maybe plan a late summer holiday, or something like that, a goal to work towards in a better joint future, so he can consider the investment of effort worthwhile?

I would say it will be 'slowly slowly' and definitely get whatever counselling etc is on offer with both hands, and maybe too is there a forum for those affected by painkiller addiction to help guide you through this time?

I also think, just as a layperson, that surely it must have negatively impacted him to have his father walk out, and a counsellor would help him explore, analyse and eventually come to terms with this??? This kind of thing can 'fester' if not addressed....

I do hope this relationship can be saved, an d moved onto a positive basis, for all your sakes.

Wishing you well, and it does sound like MAYBE your are turning the corner on this????!!!! I do hope so!

(Bbut do be prepared for 'set backs', so long as they are 'recoverable from'.)