Some days leave you staggering...

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
One day last week... It had all been a normal day.
Thought I'd leave work early, for once. I'm fortunate that I have a job where can flex my hours at will.
I just about make it to the car when my phone rings. DD school - her friends are concerned about the pages she is following on Instagram (yes, those pages !).
Right. Can deal with that... Start thinking about strategies etc.

Start the car.
Niece texts me - can she come round tonight - she's having a crisis about her degree dissertation due in 2 weeks.
Not ideal timing, but will do what I can.

Drive home. 30 minutes peace and quiet to think things through.

Pull up in the drive.
Text from wife - she had been offered an immediate "voluntary" admission to the local MH unit.
Ok, so now this is getting too much for one night...

Walk into the house and catch DD (14yo) smoking a joint!!!!

It's taken me a couple of days to get myself back together!

It gets harder each time. 😟

Not really after advice (although any is welcome), just wanted somewhere safe to vent!
Wow, Just enough,
That was definitely quite a day!
The moral of the story ... never leave work early again!!

Seriously though, I hope you wife is doing well in the MH unit.

Your daughter has some very good friends for expressing their concerns. Smoking a joint at home, sounds like attention seeking behaviour - if she didn't want you ( or her Mum,) to know, she'd have smoked it at the park or somewhere else away from home. Does she attend any support for Young Carers? Might be worth finding a local young carers' group for her; somewhere where she can get support re living with a parent with MH issues.

Phew! I totally get the feeling of it all being too much! Sounds like you have a lot to handle.

Your wife taking a voluntary placement in the MH unit sounds really positive, not only that help is availabel to her but she's actually taking it! Hope it makes a difference to you all.

I smoked the odd joint when I was a teenager, don't touch the stuff now, don't smoke and hardly drink. I have a degree, a post-grad and a professional job. It's alarming as a parent but not the worst thing a kid could do. I'd see it - as a pp says - as a cry for attention, perhaps connected to those (much more concerning) intagram pages she's looking at. Essentially she's self-harming by smoking weed and is doing it in front of you, maybe so you can help her? Scary feelings wanting to self-harm. Sounds like she's reaching out for her dad.

Can you get a little headspace just for yourself? I know it's hard, but even a bit of time for you will help you cope with all this better. Hugs x
Thanks for the replies. I have reflected on what both you both said.
You're right - if she'd wanted a secret joint there are many, many ways she could have done that far more easily. I'm guessing it was an attempt to get her mother to pay attention to her, but she got caught on the hop when I got home early!!! ☺
I will follow up on the young carers group suggestion too, although we live in a very rural location so I'm not too optimistic.
We've had a good, calm weekend together and will start sorting issues out next week.

My wife's "voluntary" admission was one of those offers that you can't refuse.... So she isn't entirely happy (serious understatement). It was basically either stay voluntarily or we section you.

For me though, and this sounds dreadfully selfish, it is a welcome respite.
I'm in a good place right now, and after the initial jolt I feel well able to deal with things.
Just Enough, its not selfish at all. As you say, use the time as respite, rest and recuperation for you all. Living with someone with MH issues is like being on eggshells all the time, minimum! Enjoy your rest

Just enough I totally get you! When my DH went to Thailand for a fortnight I felt like I was on a lovely relaxing spa break for two weeks! The rest will do you good, don't feel guilty for making the most of it.